The Tulgey Wood

Movie weekend, try 2

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 23:42:03 GMT

Went and saw 9 yesterday with Lee. Got there half an hour early, saw the line and went "oh, hey, why are all these people here? There are no interesting movies playing." (Gamer looks lame, District 9 has been out awhile, there were four kiddie movies, and let's not even discuss The Time Traveler's Wife.

Actually, no, let's, because I love making mockery of things that are overnight successes for dumb reasons like 'Edward Cullen is shiny and the perfect cardboard man.' I understand Asimov has a point with science fiction not actually having to be its own genre (after all, I've read the Robot books and it's not like the Honor Harrington books aren't just Horatio Hornblower with spaceships for the first five books). But I wikied it. (I wiki everything. It's a drug.) It's some boring romance where the steamy penultimate sex scene is when she's 18 and he's 40-something. (For those of you who don't wiki everything, he's unglued from time and keeps bouncing back and forth- always showing up with nothing but his birthday suit- in time, usually in his personal timeline. (Means his wife met him years before he met her, because it was old-him meeting illegal-her before young-him met college girl-her when they were both in the proper spot for their timelines. It's a genetic disorder, which means the female lead gets to have tons of natural abortions (whoops, miscarriages), because apparently fetuses can time-hop too. Moms not included. (It actually makes me wonder which parent he got it from and whether a pregnant woman would hop around with the baby. This is likely not discussed in the book, because it's about not being master of your own destiny, since the traveler finds out everything from the wife and she finds out the necessary dates from him.) There is huge angst about the miscarriages and he gets his tubes tied, pissing her off, and making her jump the bones of one of his pre-tied-tubes selves that pop into the future to make with the bavymaking. (And of course that pregnancy sticks, but I forget if that just meant junior started jumping later in life. It ends with him showing up someplace in winter with snow and getting frostbite in his feet and him having to gnaw them off and then he hops to someplace where he cannot run away because he has gnawed off his feet and is hit by a car and dies. And her story ends with the just-before-the-whole-frostbite-thing version of him showing up at her deathbed to say goodbye. (By the way, perhaps you should wiki that, because less of half of that was bullshit.)

Anyways, no major movies out (though the 9 theater was crowded because it was opening weekend), so we figure everyone hit the movies because it was overcast and drizzly and not good weather for doing outdoor activities. (Oh hey, speaking of The Time Traveler's Wife still, the hair on the guy in the poster looked familiar (though the name meant nothing because the actor wasn't hot enough to check up on IMDB when whatever movie I was watching with him in it was playing. Lee went "blah, blah, blah, standard male haircut", to which I say "you haven't ever seen Stargate: Atlantis but for commercials, but I bet you could identify Joe Flanigan solely from a cropped picture of his forehead and up." To which she says I have a point and rattles off some movies this guy's been in (like Troy and some other boring movie I have also avoided, and she was surprised I'd avoided Troy, since she watched it a couple times while we were still loving together. Mad skillz.) But I still have no idea where it is I've seen him.)

Anyways, 9 was bunches of fun, even if I did keep getting flashes of "is this what Cyborg 009 would look like it if the guys who thought up the Terminator stuff remade it using sock puppets and Henry Selick?" (This sentence will not make any sense to you without having seen Cyborg 009, Terminator, Wallace and Grommit, Coraline, Nightmare Before Christmas, and 9. And even then, only if you are me.) It even had an all male voice cast, with one token girl. Admittedly, she played the hero, so that's an upgrade from 009's useless love-interesty twit who was just good as binoculars. I will take twelve of the little ones with the flashing eyes and adorable hoods, and one bone helmet with built-in dangle earrings. Please hold the bodiless doll head attached to potato-bag snake.

I spent most of the movie trying to figure out the voice actors. 9 was easy enough- because I be a huge Elijah Wood fan, and 1 had a most commanding 'I am eldest, I know best' speech that could've come straight from Saruman's mouth (because I still don't know who that actor is) and the only other movie I'd heard 7 in was Labyrinth and the actress is 20 years older and doesn't sound the same (maybe if 7 had been a whiner I would've picked up on it). I was disappointed the dead sock puppets couldn't have their souls put back (at least the ones who still had their lifeless bodies lying around), but it was a heartfelt shiny goodbye scene.

Lee and I had actually driven out last weekend to Pensacola to see the new Miyazaki movie (Pongyo, or something like that. In my head it's the Little Mermaid anime). I got to her place late, so dawdled getting out, and we were fifteen minutes late. The counter girl informed us that the movie was no longer on her screen and she couldn't sell us tickets. I debated buying a ticket for a different movie and just going to the Punjab show anyway, but she had an ornery look on her face, and I hate the Pensacola theater and wasn't upset at all to not have to give them money. We went to Steak & Shake instead.

Write or Die?

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:48:57 GMT

So I'm a blog reader. I forget where I found this link (mostly because I read a blog, which'll reference another one, which will reference another one, etc, until basically it's like wiki'ing Dakota Fanning and ending up at the Great Barrier Reef. Sure it made sense while following links but you've got no idea how you actually ended up there.)

Anyways, somebody was discussing their NaNoWriMo and how, ever since they found Write or Die, they've actually stayed on schedule for their daily word count. (NaNoWriMo, btw, is the Nation Novel Writing Month. Write 50,000 words of a story. Do it in less than thirty days. The last week in November is when the actual word counts start.)

So, Write or Die. It's negative reinforcement of not writing, rather than positive reinforcement. Keep writing or your computer will make nasty sounds effects and suchlike. Set the level high enough, your words will start disppearing as you continue to delay your typing. Masochist that I am, I wanted to try it out. I banged this out in half an hour and am considering giving it another go to see where the story leads. (I have gone back and checked for obvious typos, but otherwise it's unedited.)

They hadn't been in the house for more than ten minutes before Tae managed to trigger a trap. Petra cursed as the floor disappeared, twisting to grab onto an unlit wall sconce, feet dangling over the gaping hole where thirty square feet of floor space used to be. Crunch leaped across the divide with a loud grunt of exertion, but Tae and Carmen had neither handholds nor great wells of strength to draw upon and fell into the bottomless dark. Petra lost sight if them quickly, but couldn't hear them hit the bottom.

She swung herself over to the floor Crunch stood on, grabbing onto his outstretched hand for balance.

"Looks like it's down to just you and me," she said with a grimace.

"Crunch not understand where pixie go," he said. "Odette powerful sorceress, she can protect from being kidnapped."

"Yes, well, we were all caught unawares. Be glad Tae found someone to point us in the direction of this place. Unless, of course, it's all just one big trap meant to kill everyone who enters and Odette isn't actually here."

Crunch shrugged. "Bad either way," he said. "George thinks Odette is here though."

"Wonderful," she muttered. She eased herself slowly down the hall, making for a door lit up with runes. "Try to step where I step. There's still more traps built into the floor and I haven't got the time to disarm them. I should've made Tae wait outside. I know she's clod-footed."

"Tae's never had reflexes before," the half-orc pointed out, following her, steps more nimble than his brutish background would suggest.

"That doesn't stop me from thinking she ought to have reflexes. She's half-elven, after all. It's like she was raised by buffalo."

Crunch opened his mouth to answer, but she held a silencing finger up to her lips and motioned with her other hand that two people were approaching from a side corridor. Crunch placed a hand onto his ax, cocking his head to listen as well. Petra shook her head, trying to impress upon him that they would need someone alive. She drew her rapier, looked at the floor at her feet, than shuffled backwards against the dimly-lit wall. A quick hand motion made the color of her outer robe blend in with the deep gray of the stone walls.

Two humans in scarlet robes rounded the corner. They took one look at the half-orc and raised their hands to cast spells. Petra silently ran one through, and Crunch punched the other in the face, knocking him out cold.

"What are we going to do with him?" Crunch asked as Petra wiped her rapier off on the dead man's clothes.

She started rifling through their pockets. "See if they know anything about Odette or where that pit trap leads." She drew out a small clinking bag, quickly adding it to her own adornment of small pouches at her waist, then made an 'ah-ha' noise as she drew out a set of keys from the unconscious man's pocket.

"I think we might have lucked out and kept the higher-ranking priest alive," she said to her companion, then frowned. "Unless they're just security."

"Guards have different uniforms," Crunch replied. "These two wear holy symbol of Talos all over their robes. Guards would have maybe one or two, and wear armor."

"Point," Petra agreed. "You got any rope? It might make interrogation easier if our prisoner doesn't try to escape or spell cast on us. And I think you should ask the questions. You're scarier looking."

"Of course Crunch have rope. Good for climbing down deep things. Should we stay in hall? More people could come, actual guards this time and not low priests," he warned.

"Let me poke my head in one of these doors and see if we've got an unused study or larder or something near here. Obviously not that one," she said, pointing at the rune door still further down the hall. "I wish I knew what they had on them that was protecting them from setting the traps off." She eyed the nearby doors carefully, then looked down the hall the two priests had come from. "I think that's the jakes down there," she said with a grin. "Hold on a second."

She sidled down the secondary hallway carefully, keeping an eye on the stones at her feet. The false ones had a subtly different hue to them; she thought it likely the installers hadn't seen the difference. She reached one of the two doors in the corridor and chuckled to herself. "Its got a little picture of a woman on it," she said in a loud whisper to the half-orc, who had placed one heavy foot on the fallen man's chest to keep him from getting up. "Aren't you supposed to be tying him up?"

Crunch grumbled in agreement and set to work. She turned back around, quickly checking the door for traps. Finding none, she turned the knob and slowly pushed it open. It was a small room, barely ten feet square. Against the far wall, a low bench was built, with a wooden cover and a circular opening cut out. She crinkled her nose at the smell and backed out, heading back over to Crunch, who was finishing up with his knots.

"I'd hate to have to wriggle out of those," she said, admiring his handiwork.

"Little elf is master wriggler, would not have too much problem," he disagreed. "Clumsy priests will though."

"I was right about it being the jakes. Gotta wonder why they went in pairs," she said with a grin. "Pick him up and haul him over this way. Mind your step."

He readily complied, picking up the human with little exertion. He followed Petra more slowly than he had earlier, weighed down by his burden, but the elven woman slowed her progress so he would still see which stones to avoid stepping on.

New DW companion robbed from a cradle

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:56:44 GMT

You may recall a new Doctor Who was announced awhile back. The actor in case is 28, which is usually a good age for finally breaking out into big 'celebritiness' for non-teenager-focused shows and movies. Unfortunately, I'm cranky his big debut is going to be Doctor Who, who has always had mass appeal to the elderly as well as the young. Hiring younger and younger actors mean the older audience members lose their interest in the character because he's just a young whippersnapper who is doing his Doctor Who impersonation all wrong. The old series seemed to alterate between thinkers and doers. Seems to be it's about time for a thinker.

Unfortunately, the companion they've finally picked out is even more of an unknown, with a hell of a lot less experience than Junior over there. Like Freema, she was in a previous season (I haven't seen 'The Fires of Pompeii' but I bet she was just so gosh-darned cute playing the soothsayer). I understand they didn't want to hire a big name to outshine their newbie, but couldn't they have gotten someone who at least looks like an adult? She's 21, but all the pictures for her make her look like she's straight out of Dawson's Creek. (I kinda wish they'd hired the little miss who played Sally Sparrow in the doctor-lite episode in season 3. She was spunky.)

Anyone seen 'Fires of Pompeii' to give an opinion on Miss Gillan's acting skills? Am I being fair in thinking she was basically hired because she'd been in a previous Who episode and that she wouldn't outshine Mr. Smith? (Because you know Ms. Tate would've.)

The customer doesn't know best because he's usually a moron

Tue, 26 May 2009 19:55:07 GMT

Ah, work drama. Where would I be without you? Sane and less cranky, of course, but then I'd never have anything to bitch about and then I'd be more cranky.

So, customer drops off a trimmer. ("It won't start, it should be under warranty, blah, blah, blah.") Dad's the one who wrote it up, so really, I have no idea if the customer asked to be called if it wasn't under warranty. Mechanic tears into engine to discover foulest case of carbon build-up seen in a weed whacker. (It's a more common and even more annoying problem with this brand's big blowers, because basically you just buy a new blower once this happens.) He's then stuck tearing it down to basic components and soaking it overnight to clear the junk up. Then once that's solved, it turns out the cause of this was ancient gas run through the machine, gunking up the carburetion. So there's a part to be replaced. I look up the registration, find it's been registered to a business and thus has a one year warranty, not two. Shrug it off, since either way, it wouldn't be a warrantied repair.

So the customer comes in for unit. Proceeds to bitch me out for his $200 repair bill. Okay, try to keep customer happy. The icky overnight valve job is written off, please pay me $100 for the carburetor replacement. Customer proceeds to bitch that it's a two year warranty, why does he have to pay anything? I point out that 99 times out of 100, the carburetor is toast because they've used bad/old/stale/vegetable gas in the machine.

(Hello, does nobody pay attention to things like oxygen and ethanol? They do shitty things to cars, never mind even less-forgiving teeny two-stroke engines. Oxygenized fuel may burn cleaner, but it sure has hell has no shelf life. And the heat range on ethanol means the piston is practically at melting point while running. (I actually had someone at the city replace a cylinder and piston on a big cut-off saw (which costs something terrible) and not three months later, his piston was funny shapes. And it's not like the guy who did the job hadn't done it a billion times before, which means the workers put something weird in it.))

Customer repeats why does he have to pay for carburetor. ("Blah, blah, blah, I was told two year warranty.") I point out his warranty covers manufacturer defects. Stale gas is not a manfacturer defect. (I do not say that it's because the operator is defective, but it was a near thing, because I had a full house and he was seriously getting on my nerves and paying his bill and taking his happy ass home where he would never have to come back and see us again.) Also, by the way, even if it was covered under warranty, it was registered to a business, which is a one-year warranty.

Customer proceeds to get pissier. ("Blah, blah, blah, I'm a window-washer" or some shit like that. As if it's my fault for not remembering that when I registered the damn thing.) Mutters under breath about spending $6000 here, and why wasn't I bending over backwards so he could completely fuck both the boss and the mechanic over. (Like the manufacturer was going to reimburse me for that goopy carb, which was 98% not their fault. (The other 2% is them using those carburetors, but I suppose that's CARB and EPA's fault, because those assholes pick more on the two-stroke community than the car community. Like it's chainsaws that are the primary reasons for the destruction of the ozone layer.))

Anyways, the mechanic has already lost half of his charged labor for this job, I'm not taking any more off. I wouldn't even do it for my regulars, and you, good sir, I haven't seen since I sold you this trimmer. Which, btw, wasn't even $400. I can only assume that not only are you an asshole, you are an asshole who can't count how many zeroes he's spent in one place.

Finally get his credit card (debate charging him the first total of his bill, because there ought to be a 'putting up with assholes' surcharge), ring him up, point out the door, and turn next customer in line. (Who thankfully works in a small-business industry and has his own story to share. Unfortunately, the three guys behind him in line would also like to be helped, so had to cut that conversation short.)

I want ice cream.

Why isn't your book out yet?

Wed, 13 May 2009 13:03:59 GMT

Hey, E, you know how every time you go to the bookstore and spot the Melanie Rawn books, you sulk because Captal's Tower isn't out yet? (I confess, I do too. If only so she can go 'surprise, Collen's not dead!' *weeps about Collen some more*)

Neil Gaiman has something to say to you. Along with the gentleman who wrote to him asking about George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire books.

It's hilarious.

(Note to self, get E into the bookstore to see the reprint of McKinley's Sunshine, because the cover's totally trying to hop onto the 'I'm a scary vampire book with romance' train, and of course, the book is nothing about that. Stupid publicists and their need for popular books, not just underground cult classics books.)

(Note the second, update book count. Also, does reading two books twice count as four or two? Hmm, must be two, since there wasn't a great deal of time between reads. Also, does illustrated stuff like manga and graphic novels count? I'm thinking of a four-for-one deal. They're minimalistic.)

April hasn't been the funnest month for me

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:27:11 GMT

So I've been ill this past week or so. I'd actually caught a minor cold right before Phoenix, but shook it off in time for the trip. I then proceeded to be rather travel-weary for the next few days, only to be tossed into a car for twenty-four hours with Dad and E, burning rubber to Tampa to check in on Joanie and Ed (who'd been hospitalized last month, rather near death's door, complete with funny (not funny ha-ha and more funny 'that's really sad') story about him waiting in his doctor's office while the doctor was out and Joanie demanding a breathing machine for him because he was turning blue and the office staff having to send someone across the street to the actual hospital to get one, only to discover no one in the office knew how to use it and poor cousin Phil having to figure it out while Joanie sits there thinking she's going to watch her husband asphyixiate because her doctor's employees have no medical emergency training. When the doctor came back, he made Phil show each and every employee there what he did to get the machine working).

So my sleep schedule got really out of whack, complete with my immune system taking a little vacation, and I got my cold back- possibly out of remission, more likely a different virus. Knocked me flat out- couldn't breath, couldn't sit up without getting dizzy, couldn't stop sneezing, couldn't really focus my brain on anything for too long without it meandering away, couldn't always eat because the cold made everything taste weird and gross. And on one memorable occasion, puked the food and cold medicine back up. That's been going on since Tuesday. It was worst over the weekend- I spent four hours on Maya's couch on Sunday staring off into nothing waiting for my head to be less dizzy so I could drive home and take a nap before getting on Vent with the CSC. (I was highly annoyed by the spaceyness, I mean, if you're going to be home sick, you should at least be able to play video games, and I got dizzy doing that. Possibly because that's what I did all Saturday...)

Anyways, I had already scheduled a visit with the doctor last month. My prescription was up, and he likes seeing patients again before he renews them, and I had no idea, because I haven't seen a doctor since high school, and I've never been on prescription needing renewing before. (It's only my second time on anything prescribed, period. And the migraine medication didn't really work, so I only refilled it once before giving up on the whole thing and going back to ibuprofen and washclothes.) His clinic is apparently really busy, because they scheduled me for an appointment five weeks out. (I can only hope that people who are actually sick get a closer appointment date. What if I'd called Thursday, would they have pushed me ahead a couple days and seen me Friday? I could've been dying.) So I went and saw him today and was explaining the cold thing to him, and that it felt like I wasn't getting enough air, even though most of the other symptoms- barring the cough, which was a latecomer anyway- were clearing up.

So I've been given a week's worth of Xyzal. For allergies.

(Because cold symptoms and allergy symptoms overlap? I did say it started with my throat, which has nothing to do with allergies, it would seem to me.)

... I'm more than a little confused, but I'll give it the week, and if I still have this awful wheeze and air flow problems, I'll give the office another call and get to shell out another $100 for a twenty minute visit and hopefully better advice as to the cause.

Icon Meme from Lee

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 23:38:13 GMT

1. Reply to this post, and I will pick six of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon glee.

Computer Suicide, by everlyn
I loves me some Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and I can frequently be counted on to be the voice of doom. Also, insanity. Either way, the icon makes for a warning tag that the opinion being stated is at odds from the standard one.

Consistency is Overrate, by bookloversdiary
I am female, and thus of the gender commonly regarded as indecisive. Changing opinions is like wanting your cake and having it too. (Does anyone else wonder where this statement came about from? It's your cake, why can't you have it?) So people in general, me in particular, have no qualms with changing our minds about what we want for dinner. After we've ordered. (Also, I have this internal timer I set when John's playing WoW. It could be an hour, it could be five minutes. But after it goes off, I wander off. This strikes me as rather feline behavior...)

Mock Fandom, by snarkel
I needed something to use as a movie/book/tv show/whatever snarky review icon. Han was the best I could find, amidst a bevy of "My fandom..." icons. (Such as "My fandom turned into a 'Best of Queen' tape", which all Good Omens fans will find amusing, and so will everyone else, but they'll be wondering where the quote is from. I think I also have a 'MY FANDOM SPEAKS ONLY IN CAPITAL LETTERS', for the Discworld fan in me. But I haven't loaded it.) But I hold little sacred, and so I mock. Especially things like Hercules Versus the Moon Men.

Diplomat, by pouring_icons
I'm not even certain I've read the Discworld book this is taken from (I only have eight or so, and I actually haven't finished Guards, Guards...). But I'm not known for being tactful (my main way of doing so is by keeping my mouth shut), so this pokes gentle fun at me or whomever I am replying to. And sometimes Margret, who once called to ask if I wanted a used book for my birthday. (Really, none of the S-B girls are good with tact, but it's toss up between Margret and E about who's worse.)

Authority, by iconsbycurtana
In my head, this icon goes by "I'm the alpha male!", which is a running joke over at Maya and Crystal's place, because even though there's two guys living with them and Maya's the one bringing in the money and paying the bills, Crystal's the alpha male. So this is my "because I said so" icon. Fear it. Respect its authority. And Fifth Element provides the perfect screencap for right amount of authority I exude.

Unhelpful, by iconsbycurtana as well
My advice, let me share it with you.

You remember those old movies with white people in black paint as black people?

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:35:47 GMT

So even with internet access, my iidea of up-to-date Hollywood news is "anything that happened after November." Which is at it should be, because they're a bunch of assholes who don't deserve my undivided attention.

Anyway, anyone here a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender? I've seen the first couple season and wow Nickolodeon, where did you find these people? Great characters, plot, scenery, and funny jokes. It's everything I wish all my tv shows were, except for the fact the cast is under the age of twenty and animated, so there is some guilt over wishing I'd find a nice boy with (insert any character here)'s (insert any interesting 'good for picking up chicks' characteristic here, ie body/temperament/eyes/sense of humor). But who cares?

So I did hear mention ages ago someone was considering making it into a movie. (I vaguely remember going, "but doesn't this show have a finish line? Avatar learns firebending and defeat's Zuko's dad and saves minor characters/learns important life lessons along the way? Why would it need a movie?") So recently I came across something along the lines of current status of this movie.

1. It will be live-action. Goodbye pretty scenery and exacting hand motions, hello Power Rangers' karate and CGIed backgrounds with cardboard cut-out buildings.

2. Because making the four nations Inuit/Eastern/Islander isn't culturally diverse enough, the casting and setting will be more 'culturally and ethnically' diverse. (Reporter went to casting call here. (Link found by fellow irate Avatar fan here.(CLICK TEH LINKS LIEK WHOA! SHIRLY THIZ NOT SIREUS!)))

3. All main characters will be white.

4. Like with most movies with children in them, a state of disbelief will be needed to see the guy my age as being 16. (Guy playing Zuko, on his character: "He's, like, an evil prince." Okay, not a direct quote, but the evil prince portion is. (The law says you are an adult why?) Even worse? Guy playing Sokka, on his being cast: "All I need is a tan! XD" (Your parents did not beat the racism out of you why?))

5. M. Night Shyamalan is directing. (While I enjoyed Lady in the Water and portions of Signs, is anyone else confused by the director of choice? It's like asking Stephen King to write the script. Sure, he's good at his job, but his name itself is a connotation that this will be a creepy movie. You could try pulling a Harry Selick and just put on the poster "From the director of Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach, we present Coraline." No wait, all your movies are creepy. You were hired why? To draw your fans to a movie they would otherwise avoid because they're too cool for kid stuff? (Nevermind that the fact half the main characters haven't quite hit puberty, Avatar has stuff for people of all ages to enjoy. I'd rather watch Avatar than On Golden Pond, but I can still appreciate actually casting a distinct anti-established Hollywood age. (See earlier post concerning Watchmen and Carla Gugino.))

So, anybody who's a fan of Avatar should probably just plug their ears and sing "la-la-la-la-la, I can't hear you" any time someone mentions this film. It has unfortunate things written all over it.

(You did click those links, yes? Does anyone know where I can get me some lederhosen to be authentically Belgian, which is, like, right next to the Netherlands, which means they're my historically accurate traditional costume as well? Or would it be dirndl for me?)

Replaced Icons?

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:04:39 GMT

Lee, consider checking your user icons. I posted a comment on someone's journal and left my 'I love a good ramble' icon there (since of course it meandered off topic and I should come with a warning sign) and went back to check a reply and found some girl with a quill pen staring at me. (Well, at the top of the icon box, but whatever!) So I head over to my icon page, and that's the only one changed, but i am officially weirded out. (Especially considering the hotmail thing going on right now, but I still have the email account I registered my journal with, and I never had my email displayed, and it's not like all my journal entries aren't still here...)

Anyways, weird thing I noticed. Who knows how long it's been that way. Has anyone else seen that icon and not mentioned it to me because they figured it was just another one I added? It's cute, I like it, very 'how to respond' feel to it, but I've neverM/i> seen it before.

Watching the Watchmen: Primarily a Discussion of Casting

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:42:42 GMT

So I watched Watchmen Saturday. As a big fan of the comic book, I hated it. As a big fan of cheesy movies, I enjoyed it muchly.

For those of you who haven't seen it yet, I suggest renting 300 first. (To quote the poster, "From the acclaimed director of 300, Zach Snyder" blah, blah, blah). Note the gratuitous gore and sex. It will be repeated in Watchmen. He hasn't made many movies yet, but he already has a signature. (It leaves me distinctly unimpressed. As porn goes, it's pretty good- though leaves me embarrassed to be viewing it in a crowded theater. As gore goes, I prefer Tarantino. His beheadings were silhouettes.)

As most people here have either already read Watchmen, I'm not really going to discuss the plot. We all knew going in it would end up being retarded because Watchmen wasn't about the plot. It was about the details, the off-topicness of lengthy excerpts from books and comics and the character drama and flashbacks to minor characters who end up being tiny cogs in the great machine that destroyed the world. All of that flavor text- all of what made us love Watchmen would obviously have to go, because otherwise it would be a twenty hour miniseries. So the plot is a couple of retired (and not-so-retired) vigilantes investigate a murder. Things happen. Thirty major cities get exploded by the doohickey that made Doc Manhattan and the truth gets suppressed. The end. (This is not what happened in the book. I like the evil alien invader actually created in secret by Veidt's unknowing minions who get exploded for it as well. But that story is filled with too many pesky details.)

Actually, let's talk about that doohickey. Does anybody else besides me think that the victims of said world-wide major cities should be figuring out their new superpowers the same way Doctor Manhattan did after he got exploded by it? Also, why would there be crumbling building remains rather than disintegrated buildings in piles of dust? Sigh.

Snyder was all over the place when it came to choosing actors. I appreciate the fact he didn't cast any big names (I think Jeffrey Dean Morgan was the biggest one they had, and well, no offense to him, I loved him in Supernatural, but he's not really big name, is he?), but there's still such a thing as casting for age. Carla Gugino, while a babe, does not need to be hired to play Laurie's mom. This movie is set present-day 90% of the time. Hire Joan Crawford for crying out loud. You can have Ms. Gugino play the babe in the flashbacks, but ain't nobody buying that wig or fake wrinkles.

The actor for Dreiberg pulled the acting off well (he wasn't pretty and didn't look upset that he had to wear a funny suit to give him Shatner's spandex belly pooch.) He seemed a little young for his role- the story being set where all our heroes are supposedly middle-aged.

Laurie, cast entirely for her sex appeal, never looked the age she should've (at least five years older than the actress...) and never did figure out her character. It's not her fault, Snyder doesn't understand women, they're just men with breasts right? (No need to tell the actress she's portraying the wrong emotion, cause it's not like it matters. While it might've worked in 300 because Sparta was a warrior society, us people with vaginas would like you to figure out how to portray emotions without coming across as a complete baby. Happy medium, you know?)

Whoever he hired for Rorschach (Jamie something-something Taylor?) was fantastic. Perfect. Batshit crazy and ugly and we're rooting for him all the way, the bastard. And he does a great voice. (I was watching a trailer for the DVD about Watchmen that came out, and the narrator was reading Rorschach's lines and I about threw my book at the TV to make the hurting stop.)

Adrian Veidt was all wrong, plain and simple. The actor didn't look butch enough, couldn't pass off as intelligent, and never did figure out what his accent was supposed to be. (Yes, goddammit, I will call you on it. You too, Viggo Mortensen. I see you over there, in your Aragorn costume and twanging your pitch incorrectly every ten lines!)

Doctor Manhattan and his glowing blue wang. Where to start. Okay, one, the wang. It's the talk of the town, because America is the land of the repressed prudes. Hey, Snyder, if you're so hung up on making the movie look like the comic (more on that later, omg), shouldn't he look like the statue of David, and not be hung like a horse? The actor was probably "Sure, yeah, I'd love to do my shooting in the buff. The ladies love me. And my normal-sized wang." And Snyder would've been all, "No, I'm a size queen. This is America. We're all size queens. We need a wang that would tear the Trojan magnums because they're too damn short. I will CGI you a better wang. And me doing this is totally not gay." And the actor goes, "But now the ladies will never want me, because they won't know it's CGI and think that I'd break their pelvises if they slept with me. I will never be laid again." And Snyder would've gone, "That's okay, you sound gay, they don't want you anyway."

Now that I've gotten that out of my system (well, no I haven't, but obviously this post cannot be completely about sparkly blue naked manbits), let's discuss the rest of the gentleman in question. As far as age goes, I don't mind the actor being young and attractive. He is a glowing blue man who will probably end up being eternal and all-powerful and god to a tiny planet of hobbit-sized mouse people. So he should be young and attractive. That's how we want our gods. (Just look at Greece.) However, his voice drove me up a wall. Lee sounds manlier than him. (Nothing personal, he's just practically an alto and trying to sound disinterested and just coming across as a gay asshole. (Nothing against gay people either, because that's totally stereotyping the way they talk.)) Snyder could've spent more time discussing Manhattan's dehumanization, rather than just throwing the nakedness at us and hoping everyone had read the book. (A couple times, and possibly the Cliff Notes because we're retarded like that and don't read into things too much. Or maybe that's just me?)

He's got a nice ass, though. (Unless that was CGIed too. You suppose?)

Jeffrey Dean Morgan, after the guy doing Rorschach, has to have been the best acting decision he made. (We'll not discuss the poor guy in a prosthetic nose trying to be Nixon.) I haven't any idea how he does in Gray's Anatomy (which is what he's best known for), so anyone who's only seen him there probably fell out of his seats watching him play the Comedian. He obviously didn't look young enough in the flashbacks to the Minutemen, but that's okay, Carla didn't look young enough there either. (If she had, we'd've been weirded out by the possibly underage almost-rape.) I think of his role in Supernatural as practice for this. Sure, he's not psychotic there, but he has learned his old-people badassedness well.

You want to know my favorite part of the movie? The intro reel. Snyder has this horrible love affair with Bob Dylan music, and shows us a series of maybe twenty, thirty second snapshots of the Minutemen set to Dylan's 'The Times They Are a-Changin’. (His use of the rest of Dylan's music- as well as all the rest of the music- was, for the most part, completely inappropriate. The only thing right was they were all made before 1985 and could've conceivably been written in this alternate world as well.) This was the only originality Snyder showed. (Good originality, I should clarify, since he also changed Veidt's conceived bad guy into Manhattan, which could've been clever.) Also, the timing of the music was so off it wasn't even funny. The Mars scene was still wrapping up, and all of a sudden, action scene music busts out super loud. The mood was entirely broken.

The Mars scene did not transpose well, but it was not something I liked in the book either. Neither Snyder nor Moore could figure out what to write there, but Snyder did an even worse job of it, mostly because his Laurie didn't seem as tied to Manhattan as she did in the comic, because Snyder spent no time on that relationship and all of it on the sexing in the Owlmobile. (Part of this is because the flashback to the first Watchmen meeting is spent entirely on the Comedian, and the creepy incestuous flirting thing after the meeting- which was the actress's fault, all she knows how to do with her eyes is say 'fuck me.' She obviously was not told she was supposed to be giving those eyes to the blue guy in the speedo, not the twenty-years-older-than-her guy in leather armor.)

Snyder spends the rest of the movie trying to make it look exactly like the comic. I can understand his urge to do this- Gibbons' work was amazing, if a little weird on the colors because it was 1986. However, it is a movie, we expect some updating beyond Laurie's costume upgrade from lingerie to latex. (Which I approve of, especially since I finally noticed it wasn't a bodysuit but a swimsuit with thigh-high boots.) Spend less time on making sure Manhattan is the right shade of blue and pay more attention to the fact that using the comic word-for-word for your script makes your movie come across as even more pretentious than the comic did. Rorschach's journal makes for a nice continuity, but Manhattan's speeches just sound pompous.

So, a fun movie, if you wanted to read Watchmen, but were afraid of all the stuff in it that made you think. Moore's Watchmen discussed the sanity of needing to dress up in a costume to fight crime. Snyder's Watchmen just deconstructs the morality of the superhero, and it's been done better elsewhere.

Birthday list?

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 01:23:24 GMT

It's a couple days from my birthday and E. seems to feel I need to link some things I like so that I can get free stuff. I've never paid much attention to my birthday, but the timing is really nice. Watchmen out Friday, so to celebrate my birthday, I'm making everybody I know come and watch it with me. And nobody had better shush me. I don't care if I'm ruining your movie experience.

I broke my cell phone charm a couple days ago. I'd like a new one, but I'm pretty picky about my designs. It's why I still don't have a vanity tag-thingy for my car front.

So I still have a wishlist tag, and my most recent list is here, complete with strike-throughs for what I've gotten.

I've also made a Jinx wishlist and have made inroads into one at ThinkGeek, which is currently just funny t-shirts, but they have cool things too.

Speaking of t-shirts, does anyone besides me hate baby doll tees? (Not you, Pug, I see you thinking about it already.) I've got broad shoulders and the mediums dig into my arms and the larges don't fit the rest of me. I prefer large shirts, since I have this tendency to tuck them in and mediums are too short to tuck properly half the time. (Also, E's asked my about some lol thing and all I have to say, E, is just because I think it's funny doesn't mean I'll wear it splattered across my chest.)

I'm more of a button-up shirt comboed with a sleeveless shirt person, anyway.

I'm not really one for presents, so don't feel obligated to get me something, because that means I'll have to remember who got me what and give them something for their birthday too. (And unless it's got a funny story attached, like Margret's "I don't get the joke, but you keep making it and here it is on a t-shirt!" gift.) I just really don't want to be shushed whilst squeeing over Watchmen and pointing out the differences. It's not like you can't watch it again without me.

Funny Picture this time

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:49:09 GMT

It's not spam if it''s one link every two to three weeks, right?

Anyways, knowing my job, isn't this hilarious? Actually, it's still hilarious, but my job makes it even funnier.

(As a side note, you may want to view this in a different layout than mine. It may jut be my laptop's tiny screen, but it eats any part of the image that's outside the journal box.)

I need a meme

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 00:09:42 GMT

As with all memes, ganked from a friend who ganked from a friend, etc, etc, etc, and so on and so forth. Go to Google and type your first name then type "needs"...then list the first 10 things about you from the various websites and descriptions used. Then share.

Replete with snarking, because it makes memes all the funner.

1. Katharine needs to learn to keep her mouth shut. (Ha. Opposite problem, actually.)
2. Katharine needs your help. (Ah, the ubiquitous you. Do I even know you?)
3. Katharine needs our prayers. (Needs them stuffed up your humbler-than-thou asses, perhaps. I hate that. 'We'll pray for you!' I'd rather someone say 'I'll keep you in my thoughts' for whatever trouble needs praying for. Otherwise there's this 'oh, look, my prayers for your health worked! My God is the bomb!' and not 'oh, look, human ingenuity cured cancer. I knew someone had to get it right sooner or later.' Hm, I possibly have found another hidden soapbox inside of my 'Stance on Religion' soapbox. What would you call a soapbox inside a soapbox? ...)
4. Katharine needs to put out a Christmas album. (Who is this Katharine McPhee person and why has she stolen my Christmas music?)
5. Katharine needs a home. (Caitlin called my room a college dorm. *weeps*)
6. Katharine is one to watch. (I think this is some American Idol article. They stole my Christmas music too. Possibly Katharine McPhee is a contestant? I am now voiding all links to American Idol and Ms. McPhee from this list, because the next one talks about being booted out and the one after that tells me to stand up straight and the next one says I need my morning coffee and the next link after that says I'm a talentless whore. That last one might be someone's myspace page.)
7. Katharine needs a man. (That is not any better! Curse you, fanfiction.net, and your CSI fanfics!)
8. Katharine needs good food and comfortable furniture. (Oh, I like that one. I'm keeping it, especially because the rest of the article is about my relationship with Spencer Tracy. And by 'my relationship', I mean Katharine Hepburn's. Don't you love astrology sites?)
9. Katharine needs no explanations. (She can make up better lies anyway.)
10. Katharine needs another coat. (I think the article is about a fashionista, but I would never say no to warm outerwear. Unless it was ugly.)

Funny Link

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:51:51 GMT

Want to know what's even better than lolcats? Adding dirigibles.

Up to six books

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 17:56:14 GMT

Reread Get Off the Unicorn earlier this week- it's amazing how many of those stories got their own books later on in her career. Some of them I wish she hadn't and had opted for one of the others instead. (The Freedom's Landing books just don't have the same re-readability as some of her others.) And in said book was the part of The Ship Who Sang that always stayed with me the most, which had annoyed me when I read it, because I was all like "where's the coffee tasting? I distinctly remember coffee tasting after the alien planet and here you don't even go back to that planet!" But now I have my coffee tasting and I am much happier. (No, the coffee tasting is not a huge part of the story, but it's a fun part that I found cutely romantic and stuck in my head concerning said book. Even though it wasn't actually *in* said book. Because it was a short story she wrote to appease NH-834 fans who wanted that part of the plot finished.)

Anyways, so that makes five, even if it's a reread, and I spent four hours yesterday burning through Mercedes Lackey's latest 500 Kingdoms offering- The Snow Queen. Luna Books is actually a subsection of Harlequin or something, which I hadn't really noticed until I googled it looking for a publishing date for TSQ and came back with a bunch of fantasy-based romances. Ah well, I plead obsession with author for buying a Harlequin and beg the court's forgiveness.

Anyways, TSQ concerns a fairy godmother this time and she has no actual love interest. (Unless you count the hint in the epilogue that lets you know her story continues.) Considering the fact that love is the motivation of the villain and all the secondary characters, I appreciate not being completely inundated with the stuff. (Well, actually the villain is trying to destroy all emotion because she hates love, blah, blah, blah, boring girly shit.)

I liked The Fairy Godmother and One Good Knight better- the first because I liked the protaganist better, the second because it had the knight fall in love with the dragon- but it's better than Fortune's Fool which I may just dislike because I hate mermaid stories. But also because Fortune's Fool didn't have a Bookwyrm, and The Snow Queen did. Also, group questing more interesting than captivity in a genie's tower. And Ice Palace trumps Undersea Palace. Because I hate those.

Also, third time I can remember coming across the term leman, which I have yet to google because I got it in context, thank you very much. I mention this to E, and she goes "Layman. Normal people who don't understand technobabble." And I go, "no, leman, which, well, is a lay man, but totally wrong definition of the word there." To which there is much giggling.

Currently reading a book I refuse to name because I want to surprise Carmen with it when I see her this weekend. But she can't keep it, because I want to finish it sometime this year, and not ten months from now when she mails it back to me after she finally finishes reading all the other books she's currently got on loan from me. =)

Everyone should have a physical hobby that involves wearing clothes

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:52:09 GMT

I bowl Mondays. It's a fun league- nine pin, no tap, which means if you hit nine pins on your first throw, it's a strike. $10 a week for ten weeks, and you get to play round-robin with a bunch of friendly strangers. Before two weeks ago, I'd bowled maybe three times in my adult life. So yeah, my average is not something to brag about. It hasn't reached three digits yet, and considering the no-tap, that's sad. It does mean, however, that my handicap is FANTASTIC (numerically speaking, as anyone else would rather have an average of 130 than a handicap of 130...) so that, when I do bowl a good game, I'm the winner. Because fun leagues are meant to make it fun for sad people like me who think they've bowled a good game when they get 102 (last week's first of three games, it just went downhill from there.)

So today, the parents and I are bowling against a trio of guys about my age who all have decent scores (ie, have averages higher than my handicap). Mom's feeling under the weather (possibly the same bug I've just gotten over), and Dad's pulling his usual 'it's not a good game unless I break 200', and I bowl pretty much my average for the first two games. (93 and 94, which have me satisfied, as I have beaten my 90 average.) I'd been bouncing off the walls the entire time- I possibly over-saturated my bloodstream with caffeine. But by the time game three rolls around, I am in the zone. The wussy eight-pounder and I are as one. That second arrow mark might as well be a magnet for all the times I hit it. Spare here, no-tap there, strike there. I only have two frames that I don't get my ten pins. The guys are scratching their heads, wondering where the hell all this came from? (I have possibly stolen their groove, because not a one of them breaks 100 that last game.)

My score? 183
With handicap? 313

Booyah, baby! Guess who gets to be top of the handicap game and series lists next week? And probably will for game for the rest of the league? *dances*

Even with the no-taps discounted, my score would still be way above my average. So yay, I had a bowling Zen moment game and want to drag people back there again so I can try and find it and keep it.

How did I become the intermediary?

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:03:42 GMT

So talking cell phones with Dad right now. Apparently Margret broke hers and had to have to replaced? That's a new phone, you ditz, how did you break it already?

Anyways, he mentioned that he only calls people when he has something he needs to ask or whatever. Not much of a conversationalist, he is. And apparently he's annoyed with the twins for never answering the phone when he calls them. (I cannot vouch for how true this is, since the only time I've seen him call Laura, she answered the phone. Margret the ever-busy is probably the guilty party here.) So hey, you two, you see the home number, either pick up or call back when you're not busy so Dad won't feel like you're blowing him off. Because he's the one who's paying for that phone and that comes across as more than a little ungrateful. Especially seeing as how Mom just had to swap in her phone upgrade to replace the phone you broke.

Also, to repeat, Margret, you do know you lose your military ID and thus, its health care benefits when you marry? That's a who-knows-how-long amount of time where you aren't covered. I understand the marraige before posting is neceessary for joint-spouse, but you also need to get coverage for that break in time so that, should anything horrible happen- like your car getting t-boned by an eighteen-wheeler and you getting put in traction for years and no longer in the good health necessary for a military career- you need to have something to cover medical bills. Because you sure as hell can't afford it, the parents can't afford it, and mooching is not a way of life you want to get into.

So kindly do some research, maybe get some paperwork together, and let Dad know you're not blowing off his justifiable paranoia. Because that's his big issue about you getting married before your commissioning. Big mystery solved, now get to work communicating with him again. And I'd like to point out that this huge passive-agressive, nonconfrontational fight could've been avoided if you had just asked him why he was upset about you two trying to set the day pre-graduation, instead of bitching like a little girl on your blog or to your sisters or to your friends. Communication is the key to maintaining a good relationship.

/rant

Books read to date: 4

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 02:48:12 GMT

So I still haven't figured out the name of the series for this trilogy. If you will recall, I bought book three (The Mislaid Magician) at a used bookstore a while back and complained that the first two were impossible to find in stores, especially since I wanted them in hardcover. My lovely Secret Santa Kate bought me them and I've spent the past week reading them at work.

The premise of the authorship is Patricia Wrede and Caroline Stevermer wrote each other letters in character as young women of early 19th century England. It starts off slow- both authors testing the waters, I suspect, but by the time I was half through The Enchanted Chocolate Pot, I was addicted and stayed up late one night finishing it off. I wasn't quite so enchanted by the sequels- possibly because I read the books back to back and the letter-writing gets tedious to read after a while. I appreciated the fact that Thomas and James' letters were added into the mix in The Mislaid Magician, because half the time, The Grand Tour felt like I was reading their diaries and I've never been fond of those. Mostly because I know I'd rather not have anyone reading my diary- did I but keep one.

Anyways, E. borrowed them off of me- I've moved all the paperbacks to the garage, so my bedroom's selection has shrunk quite a bit, so that set popped out more than they would if they were sharing their shelf space with the usual overload of books. She's quite enjoyed them and got bit by the Letter Game bug herself and has already left one for me to reply to. Unfortunately she's chosen a time period I'm not very familiar with- the early 1890s- so I'm going to head to the bookstore to pick up some Jules Verne and history books to give me a bit more to go by. I think she picked that time because I wanted to try out steampunk, but she knows even less about it than I do and it's not really a genre that interests her (Girl Genius' art is a bit busy for her tastes). We'll see how it goes. As it is, it might be a bit before she gets her reply letter.

Straying from the topic a little, I got an email the other day (read, I checked that email account for the first time in months) and had a letter reviewing an old Inu Yasha fanfic I never actually finished because I lost interest in the show. (It's a rather lengthy piece of work that's about 95% done and 30% rewritten/editted). Anyways, the reason I bring this up is she says "I think that if T.S. Eliot was still alive, wrote prose, and developed an obsession with Inuyasha, he might have written something similar to this." And I know it's meant to be complimentary- you remind me of that one famous poet I like! But to be honest, I've never cared for Eliot, mostly because of my general distaste for poetry and its need for a sparsity of words and heavy symbolism. I've also read part of The Waste Land and never could come to grips with its fluctuating narrators. Does wanting to tell her this make me a terrible person? I won't, because she actually left an "I've been thinking about your story, not just reading it" review, but a small part of still wants to check if she's got an email address to send a pithy little note going "Eliot was a hack".

New Doctor announced

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:14:21 GMT

I'm not sure who beyond Katie is a Doctor Who fan. (I know Lee's parents are huge Tom Baker fans when it comes to DW), but Nodwick just linked me an announcement that leaves me rather, well, befuddled.

BBC is probably a more direct source than the fan discussions Nodwick linked.

I know absolutely nothing of Matt Smith, so I can't say I'm judging his acting ability. The fact his IMDb entry is very bare is rather worrisome, but he's also apparently in plays. The main problem I have with this announcement is his age. He's a baby. He couldn't have grown up on Tom Baker because he was born after said Baker had left the show. (1981, if anyone's interested. Junior here was born in '82.) Casting for the Doctor is a bit of a juggle- wise old man, active young man, occasionally naughty school boy. Tennant was great- he's a very physical actor, has youthful good looks, but the age to portray old eyes when necessary. Smith has the age where you're very active and naughty, but I can only hope the DW casting department saw something in him that said he can act the Doctor's age when necessary.

While I'm all for not hiring actors based on their good looks, I would like some reassurance that Junior will be losing the goth appearance for his Doctor Who season(s). Because while you want to gain new viewers- and goth is, like, totally in with 14-year-olds- you also don't want to lose your regular viewers- those people who've been watching Doctor Who for longer than said Who actor has been alive.

So yeah, should be interesting.

Note to self: still need to buy season 4 of Doctor Who so as can squee over return of Billie Piper for a few episodes. Also, unfortunately, Ms. Agyeman, but at least she's over her stupid crush. Rose's was cute and very 'teenager in love with her professor and physical is kind of a side effect, not the cause'; Martha's was very 'you're cute and why don't you find me attractive and why are you always talking about Rose all the time when here I am to console you as biblically as possible!' She grows out of it after a while, but her appearance in 'The Shakespeare Code' is why I stopped watching 3 until it came out on DVD and I could fast forward through her obnoxious pining.

Books on Review: Thursday Next

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 17:51:25 GMT

As it's the beginning of a new year, I thought I'd try to start something new- keeping track of what I read. Considering my voraciousness, it should be interesting to see how well I keep up with myself.

So I just finished off my recent Jaspar Fforde acquisition, Thursday Next: First Among Sequels.

While still taking place after the fourth novel, there's a fifteen year gap between the two. Next Junior no longer speaks solely in Lorem Ipsum, and instead is in a grunge band and has absolutely no urge to do as his timeline says and join the Chronoguard (the time police, sometimes corrupt, sometimes not, and always in a hurry because there's never enough time). Apparently they've been using time travel under the assumption it will be invented (be it in five years or fifty thousand) and, as it turns out, it won't be invented and Junior is supposed to sign up and fix the problem. Otherwise the world ends. Thursday's got more problems within BookWorld- there's been books written about her and the book!Thursdays want to join Jurisfiction (the book police) too. Unfortunately, they're both useless- one's all action and no thought, the other has the opposite problem. On top of that, nobody's interested in reading anymore and the Council of Genres has a smashing good idea of how to pick up their read rates- reality books! Just like reality television, except now you're voting out the boring Dashwoods. Pride and Prejudice will never be the same. Unfortunately.

Fforde does to literature what Douglas Adams did for science fiction. Just likes Adams pulled Arthur Dent from his safe reality and tossed him head-first into an explosion of silliness and space ships and talking mice, so Fforde pulls Next from her police work into Shakespeare fakes and throws her into the actual books themselves, setting fire to Jane Eyre's Thornfield Manor and fighting over romance box sets with Lewis Carroll's Red Queen and setting new car-racing speed records with Great Expectations Miss Havisham. It's all completely implausible and practically slapstick, and yet while you're reading, it sounds real and you're at the edge of your seat hoping she'll get the best of those evil bastards at GoliathCorp.

The tie-ins from The Eyre Affair were impressive- the Future-Friday at her wedding telling her to persuade any children she has to not join the Chronoguard was expected to return at some point- provided you've read the book more than once so it'd stick better in your memory- but I had to reread it to find something mentioned completely in passing that became ultra-important for First Among Sequels. One has to wonder if he's like Neil Gaiman and just puts those things in as built-in 'just in cases' or if he was rereading The Eyre Affair himself and went "that's a brilliant idea, I need that."

He's left me rather scared of entering Poetry though. And glad that I never give ethics lectures. Those hypothetical people have lives too, you know.

A couple of the Thursday Next books have illustrated frontispieces, but this one includes illustrations in the actual text. While necessary for a certain section- she leaves the emergency exit of a book to enter a different book and whilst doing so, there can be no text- the one I've got a complaint with was merely an illustration of an amusing scene. While seeing Spike pinned to the ceiling using kitchen utensils was hilarious, I'd been visualizing him as looking similar to John Constantine (from the comics, not the movie), so seeing him looking like a Rastafarian in a trench coat was something of a let down. On the other hand, it makes it easier visualizing what his daughter looks like. I'd just stuck a Caucasian Generic in for her, but now I'm kinda seeing her looking like a younger version of Naomi Harris. (The black chick in 28 Days Later. For those of you who haven't seen that, she's also the obeah woman in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.)

Anyways, on to the next book. Perhaps the Sorcery and Cecelia books that Katie got me. =)

Whining

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 23:18:06 GMT

Blargh. I hate stomach bugs. Just when you think it's safe to eat normal food again, you're puking it back up. Monday was bad enough- I couldn't hold down water until after noon and I'd been up since half 6. Tuesday saw me nibbling on saltines while drinking water like a fish. Half a can of ravioli stayed down for dinner. Wednesday was more water and pizza to try out new foods. While those days were non-pukey, I had zero energy and a major headache. I had more energy this morning, so went with a normal lunch, though I skipped on the soda because the last thing a still-queasy stomach needs is carbonation. Unfortunately, it's the same for dairy products, which milkshakes disguise themselves as. Combine that with the most nauseous smell emanating from the work microwave, and I am yet again paying worship to the porcelain god. I should've known better- even if I hadn't been upchucking, my stomach's been making really obnoxious noises the entire week. So here's hoping tomorrow's better and I won't be skiving out of work to crawl into my bathroom to die again.

12 Days of...

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:51:43 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, elfhawk sent to me...

Twelve computer games drumming

Eleven fables piping

Ten cats a-leaping

Nine cartoons dancing

Eight movies a-drawing

Seven books a-writing

Six dragons a-reading

Five ce-e-e-eltic knots

Four stargate atlantis

Three dresden files

Two power tools

...and a sandman in a trace memory.

Wishlist for CSC and sisters to peruse

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 02:13:11 GMT

While I do have a wishlist tag, I know some of you are lazy, or you know, driven insane by my ramblings, so I've taken hardship of whittling it down to more manageable (and up-to-date) terms. As well you all know, I am a terrifying person to shop for, seeing as how I never know what I want, never mind you trying to read my mind to figure out what I want.

* You may recall me mooning over Absolute Sandman ages ago. The final volume of the quartet comes out sometime November. Good gad is it pricey. (The money-saver in me is looking at the 'buy this as a set for $187 rather than the three separately for $300' and whining that it's a splurge I can't afford right now. But at least it's here for me to remember to look into.) (Update: E got me the first volume for my birthday. I hearts the shiny recoloring bunches and must remember to find her something supercool in return.)

* For the funnies, I've still been looking for the Chicks in Chainmail books. Carmen got me the first for my birthday (squeeness), and I have Turn the Other Chick, but still no luck finding the others.

*Speaking of books I've had no luck in finding, I still haven't found ~~The Ship Who Sang~~. Sigh. (Yay, E! And way to go not communicating and making Carmen buy it too.)

* One final unfound book is ~~Sorcery and Cecilia~~. I picked up The Mislaid Magician in hardback in a used bookstore (it doesn't even look like it's been read, poor thing). I'd prefer hardback because I hate mixing spines inside sets. Every time I look at my Jasper Fforde books, I cringe. One of them is hardback, the rest trade paperback and it makes me want to spend the extra money to buy The Well of Lost Plots with the same cover. Which reminds me, Kate, have you picked up The Eyre Affair yet? If not, I have two copies and would love to send one to you. Obviously not the one with the torn cover. ;) (Also from E.)

There are other books I'd like, but I'm one of those people who enjoys the pleasure of browsing bookshelves. If you're hard up for ideas, check my library for what books by which authors I have and see if there's anything I ought to have. (Example, Simon Green's Man With a Golden Torc has a sequel, but I haven't got it, primarily because I haven't seen it in mass market paperback yet. Please, however, no Pern books.) (Update: I haven't added books to the catalog in a couple months, so best to double-check any books with E. before buying something.)

*Moving away from books (slightly), I happen to have too many books and too little space. Should you happen to come across an inexpensive ~~wooden bookshelf~~, give me a holler. I haven't looked too much into it yet, but it's something I need to look into sometime soon. (I got me some from WalMart and hopefully will not need more.)

*Gameswise, I love a good puzzle. Preferably pretty landscapes, but don't feel obligated to just look at those. My favorite one was six panels of unicorns in various settings. We've put it together so many times over the years that there are a dozen missing pieces. Just, dear god, please not double-sided. There's wanting a challenge and being masochistic. (Update: zomg, Carmen, you fail at life. *weeps over pretty double-sided puzzle and its three connected pieces*)

*Funny tshirts. I'm sure you know my brand of humor, and I'm sure you'll think of someway to inflict yours upon me. =D I'm still not going to wear a 'huge tracts of land' shirt. Look to demotivators for inspiration. (Which reminds me, Carmen, it's your turn for calendars this year. I expect the tackiest thing you can find. You have no idea how much I had to hold back from buying you a beefcake one this time last year, and if I don't see some Disney princesses or something otherwise ridiculous, I'm sending you beefcake. And driving down to superglue it to your wall.) (Update: Domo-kun is so adorable. E. doesn't want to let go of it and keeps showing me the pictures again.)

*If you may recall, I bought a Nintendo DS ages back. I own PuzzleQuest, Galatrix, Neves, Myst, Picross, Chrono Trigger (or Chrono Cross or whatever the hell of that game and its sequels has been made in DS form), and Hotel Dusk, which makes finding DS games I don't own *really* easy. I like puzzle games (research into the games above will show you they're all puzzle games, to a greater or lesser extent), so browse away. If you can't find anything, I recently borrowed a friend's copy of Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Justice For All and absolutely adored it. There are four games in the Phoenix Wright series (so far), and I'd love to get copies of my own. I'm also dying to get my hands on the Professor Layton games. I've also been eyeing ~~Disgaea~~. (Update: I totally bought it.)

*~~Young Frankenstein~~, in widescreen, preferably. I somehow haven't picked it up yet, even though it's my favorite Gene Wilder movie. (Thank you Katie!)

My Amazon List is sorely lacking, as I don't really do much windowshopping via the internet, but I will try to update it.

What makes or breaks a show

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:48:09 GMT

I like multitasking. Perhaps multitasking isn't the right word for it. I like reading a book and watching television at the same time. Or watching movies while doing my cross stitch. Drawing while holding a conversation. Things along those lines- though reading while holding a conversation is even more difficult than you'd imagine. I say this to talk about my current activity's background noise (ie, the TV show I'm reading to)- Babylon 5. I bought Lee a couple of the seasons she owns, and others have bought the rest, and I have missed them since she moved. I never actually finished, and I'm obsessive enough that if it's been too long, I start things back at the beginning rather than at where I left off. (This is a recurring problem with Dune. I've pretty much got the first memorized, but I've never gotten past God Emperor, which I'm told is the beginning of a downward spiral into authorial madness and it's no wonder I finished. But dammit, I want to see how it all turns out.)

So anyway, there's a MovieStop nearby that E. occasionally drags me into. I browse their '$6 and less' bin until she's ready to go. On one happy occasion, I found a couple B5 DVDs. Then a couple more in a different row. My OCDness kicked in, and I started going through the bin with a purpose. By the time I was finished, I had all 30 discs in sequential order. And it hits me, hey, these things are marked $2 a piece. Sure, they don't have covers, but it's the entire show for $60, rather than the $45 a season I can get through Columbia House. And I have an empty CD holder. Hike back to the entrance for a basket, load it up with my booty, gloat to the salesperson about my steal (“yeah, I remember him dropping them off. Had them in a sleeve book with no proper holders. I told him he could get more if they were in the boxes, but he had gotten rid of them and was selling pretty much everything he had...”), and swan away triumphantly. I'm actually on my second watch-through of them, having picked them up awhile ago, and it something struck me.

I've been trying to explain to E., Josh, and Jon at different times my reasoning behind hating most shows out there. I want a good plot, light on filler episodes. I want continuity, and characters remembering what happened in previous episodes. I want dynamic characters who show depth and growth, I want my science to sound vaguely like it could happen, I want the actors to have the semblance of knowing what they're doing. I'm not a professional in those areas, I don't demand perfection. I don't mind B-level acting, provided it isn't too cheesy. I'm not a science major, overloading the flux capacitor using the prototype communication chip in your head sounds possible to me, in your 'cutting edge technology of the present' sci-fi setting. None of these are new thoughts for the industry. They try for it. Except budget constraints demand compromises.

Eureka has some great actors there, but they keep bypassing them in favor of focusing on side characters that are more irritating than interesting. Their science can be shaky, but it's still above my level. The problem is when they do great, they do GREAT, but when they miss, they fuck up BADLY. The writers have found the line you should walk between seasonal story arcs and less plot-driven episodes, while still putting important little details in that you only think to look for after the fact. Unfortunately, they do too many 'bad science decision of the week' episodes, with the personalities of their characters compromised in order to solve the problem. I'm hoping they'll take something like Witch Hunter Robin as inspiration and work in less time spent on the 'monster of the week' and more time on expanding on the little mysteries they've introduced, with the 'monster of the week' actually pertaining to driving the plot forward. Episodes like the mid-season cliffhanger leave hope that they're learning.

Supernatural was made precisely for monster of the week, but its fanbase comes back for more because of it's character interactions and character-based plot that doesn't make it into every episode. (Okay, also because we want to scale Jensen Ackles like he's Everest, but that's neither here nor there.) I adore it, and need to add them to Blockbuster list. But it doesn't have a large enough regular cast to have the seasonal story arc be the forefront of most of its episodes. But it wasn't made to work on that scale, so I have no problems with it. It's the shows that market themselves as being focused on story-driven and then fail to come through with it that annoy me.

Heroes offers specious plots that are more confusing than thoughtful; characters that, while having depths and growth, don't offer the intelligence necessary to operate a toaster, much less save the world; and decent acting. Lost is more of the same, except with even more disagreeable characters and gives up on a singular plot in favor of throwing out confusing red herrings to be refuted eight episodes later. Battlestar Galactica doesn't even worry about advancing its original main focus on finding Earth and instead is caught up entirely on convoluted character interactions that only increase strife, not resolutions. It frequently resembles Dragonball Z in that it frequently takes five episodes to end a single day, and in one episode, they'll decide to jump ahead months. Stargate: Atlantis had a chance at exploring the history they've created in SG-1. Instead they're tied up in 'monsters of the week' episodes that never pertain to each other. Injuries in one episode are miraculously gone the next. Arguments between characters that went unresolved in one episode are forgotten the next. And now they'll never find their stride, because they've been replaced with newer models. Stargate: Universe, with 20-something actors to appeal to a younger crowd. Because the age of their actors is really the problem their show is going down the drain. Bah, its title ought to be Stargate: 90210.

Anyway, these shows aren't properly made for the television, where one ought to be able to miss an episode without feeling like you've missed everything. Their best market is box sets, but if they don't get the viewers while it's on the air, they won't get okayed for new seasons.

I want my books produced as television shows, dammit. At least I'll know they'll have good characters and plot. Whether the acting will be worth a damn will be anyone's guess.

Meme making the rounds

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 16:02:30 GMT

Dear jachyra,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me outside of Chicago and I saw you carve your initials into my avocado plant. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break a new life as a clone.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
-Elf

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family