Hey, E, you know how every time you go to the bookstore and spot the Melanie Rawn books, you sulk because Captal's Tower isn't out yet? (I confess, I do too. If only so she can go 'surprise, Collen's not dead!' *weeps about Collen some more*)

Neil Gaiman has something to say to you. Along with the gentleman who wrote to him asking about George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire books.

It's hilarious.

(Note to self, get E into the bookstore to see the reprint of McKinley's Sunshine, because the cover's totally trying to hop onto the 'I'm a scary vampire book with romance' train, and of course, the book is nothing about that. Stupid publicists and their need for popular books, not just underground cult classics books.)

(Note the second, update book count. Also, does reading two books twice count as four or two? Hmm, must be two, since there wasn't a great deal of time between reads. Also, does illustrated stuff like manga and graphic novels count? I'm thinking of a four-for-one deal. They're minimalistic.)

Reread Get Off the Unicorn earlier this week- it's amazing how many of those stories got their own books later on in her career. Some of them I wish she hadn't and had opted for one of the others instead. (The Freedom's Landing books just don't have the same re-readability as some of her others.) And in said book was the part of The Ship Who Sang that always stayed with me the most, which had annoyed me when I read it, because I was all like "where's the coffee tasting? I distinctly remember coffee tasting after the alien planet and here you don't even go back to that planet!" But now I have my coffee tasting and I am much happier. (No, the coffee tasting is not a huge part of the story, but it's a fun part that I found cutely romantic and stuck in my head concerning said book. Even though it wasn't actually *in* said book. Because it was a short story she wrote to appease NH-834 fans who wanted that part of the plot finished.)

Anyways, so that makes five, even if it's a reread, and I spent four hours yesterday burning through Mercedes Lackey's latest 500 Kingdoms offering- The Snow Queen. Luna Books is actually a subsection of Harlequin or something, which I hadn't really noticed until I googled it looking for a publishing date for TSQ and came back with a bunch of fantasy-based romances. Ah well, I plead obsession with author for buying a Harlequin and beg the court's forgiveness.

Anyways, TSQ concerns a fairy godmother this time and she has no actual love interest. (Unless you count the hint in the epilogue that lets you know her story continues.) Considering the fact that love is the motivation of the villain and all the secondary characters, I appreciate not being completely inundated with the stuff. (Well, actually the villain is trying to destroy all emotion because she hates love, blah, blah, blah, boring girly shit.)

I liked The Fairy Godmother and One Good Knight better- the first because I liked the protaganist better, the second because it had the knight fall in love with the dragon- but it's better than Fortune's Fool which I may just dislike because I hate mermaid stories. But also because Fortune's Fool didn't have a Bookwyrm, and The Snow Queen did. Also, group questing more interesting than captivity in a genie's tower. And Ice Palace trumps Undersea Palace. Because I hate those.

Also, third time I can remember coming across the term leman, which I have yet to google because I got it in context, thank you very much. I mention this to E, and she goes "Layman. Normal people who don't understand technobabble." And I go, "no, leman, which, well, is a lay man, but totally wrong definition of the word there." To which there is much giggling.

Currently reading a book I refuse to name because I want to surprise Carmen with it when I see her this weekend. But she can't keep it, because I want to finish it sometime this year, and not ten months from now when she mails it back to me after she finally finishes reading all the other books she's currently got on loan from me. =)

( Short randomness on the Cecilia and Kate epistolary books )
Anyways, E. borrowed them off of me- I've moved all the paperbacks to the garage, so my bedroom's selection has shrunk quite a bit, so that set popped out more than they would if they were sharing their shelf space with the usual overload of books. She's quite enjoyed them and got bit by the Letter Game bug herself and has already left one for me to reply to. Unfortunately she's chosen a time period I'm not very familiar with- the early 1890s- so I'm going to head to the bookstore to pick up some Jules Verne and history books to give me a bit more to go by. I think she picked that time because I wanted to try out steampunk, but she knows even less about it than I do and it's not really a genre that interests her (Girl Genius' art is a bit busy for her tastes). We'll see how it goes. As it is, it might be a bit before she gets her reply letter.

Straying from the topic a little, I got an email the other day (read, I checked that email account for the first time in months) and had a letter reviewing an old Inu Yasha fanfic I never actually finished because I lost interest in the show. (It's a rather lengthy piece of work that's about 95% done and 30% rewritten/editted). Anyways, the reason I bring this up is she says "I think that if T.S. Eliot was still alive, wrote prose, and developed an obsession with Inuyasha, he might have written something similar to this." And I know it's meant to be complimentary- you remind me of that one famous poet I like! But to be honest, I've never cared for Eliot, mostly because of my general distaste for poetry and its need for a sparsity of words and heavy symbolism. I've also read part of The Waste Land and never could come to grips with its fluctuating narrators. Does wanting to tell her this make me a terrible person? I won't, because she actually left an "I've been thinking about your story, not just reading it" review, but a small part of still wants to check if she's got an email address to send a pithy little note going "Eliot was a hack".

As it's the beginning of a new year, I thought I'd try to start something new- keeping track of what I read. Considering my voraciousness, it should be interesting to see how well I keep up with myself.

So I just finished off my recent Jaspar Fforde acquisition, Thursday Next: First Among Sequels.
( Random discussion of said book here. )

Those books that sit on the shelf and make you look smart (in theory, right?) Bold the ones you've read; italicize the ones you read for school; underline the ones you didn't finish or are sitting on the shelf waiting for a free week.
( Read more... )

So E. is all hyped up about some book series she's reading. Twilight something-or-nother. Yeah, that's nice, whatever, you said vampire. I continue on with my life, not caring any more. Then Head Trip referenced it, and I went looking. (I now know who the Edward Cullen is I keep randomly seeing in icons.) And this is gold.

Seriously, I wrote better crap than that in middle school, and it's not like they weren't self-absorbed, better-left-unwritten-never-mind-published little monstrosities. Sparkly vampires. Dear god. (Really, I can't believe E. is reading these books. Those are for the YA, of the YA, by the YA. You're 21, not 12. And then to suggest them to *April* to read? Those aren't doom-and-gloom vampires. I don't think they even drink blood. And the reason they stay out of sunlight is because they sparkle under the brightness of the day star? I can feel brain cells dying just reading the reviews of these books, never mind actually touching them...)


Have been promoted up the corporate ladder at work. Margret started last Monday, and I've taken to being bossy like a pro. Admittedly I give her five minutes before I step in, take over, and complain that she's messed the entire thing up. By the time I'll have gotten her properly trained, her two months will be up and I'll be back to being low man on the totem pole. It's nice having her there- makes me realize I've learned a crap-ton about the industry in the 2+ years I've been there. Though she makes person number three to mock my phone voice. Waaah! It's not my fault! The only way I can slow my voice down is to completely Southernize it! I hate speaking and kind of rush through the words to get them all out as soon as possible. So yes, I do say Stiii-ulls. I made her make phone calls, and every time she got voice mail, it was "thisisMargretatStiles!Yourpartsarehere!kthxbai!" So she has no room to talk. At least I make the effort to be intelligible.

Have discovered she's got the same fear of drive-thru that I do. For different reasons though- she's kind of short and has to pretty much get out of the car to get her food from the window. Hee. (It probably doesn't help that the first time she tried drive-thru, she skipped the speaker and went straight to the window and sat around wondering why they weren't opening the window with her food.)

And Carmen thinks she hasn't updated in forever...

I plead temporary (read: permanent) addiction to computer games as my excuse. Besides, anything terribly interesting that happens gets posted by Lee, since, well, living together. Such as the recent addition to our household of the conehead kind.

Well, It's not so much an addition to the household so much as an extension of the klutziest cat I've ever had. (Well, lived with, since he's Lee's cat...) Roscoe has gotten much more sedate with the addition of the satellite around his neck. Poor dude keeps scratching at it, which means he's not allowed to run around with it off for fear of tearing open his stitches. He's currently sleeping under my covers and making sleepy noises every time I go over and poke my hand under to make sure he hasn't suffocated or something.

Speaking of scratching and stitches, giving Roscoe his ear medication in the morning was something of a hassle yesterday. Five drops seems simple enough, until you take into account that the radar dish doesn't hinder head movements too much, which means there's nothing to grab onto to hold his head still. Combine his thrashing with awkward positions, and I accidentally hit his stitches and he decided he had enough of that and thrashed a panic attack that left my pants torn. Huzzah. Which meant I had to break out the emergency pants (read: tragic pale blue pants accidentally washed with bright red, never-been-washed shirt leaving said pants pink in certain (read: all) lights, complete with bloodstain looking spots from previous run-ins with strange liquids that had formerly just looked like dirt stains (which they were). They also have funny yellow speckles on one thigh. No idea where those came from.), since that evening was supposed to be laundry day for pants (as was all out of clean work pants). (The laundry plan didn't work out anyway, as Tuesday was the rescheduled date for dinner with aunt and grandfather, since previous date was washed out after got sick of waiting in rush hour traffic for life flight to clear out. Three hundred feet in an hour does not a happy driver make, so E. and I called off and went to IHOP instead. Very cold there.)

E. has gotten a Nintendo DS, along with a spiffy little game by the name of Puzzle Quest. It's basically the RPG version of Bejeweled, and am seriously contemplating buying a DS solely to play this game. (Along with Brain Age, which looks like fun, because I'm fond of smart-making games.)

Have gotten onto a strange reading fix of late- I'm currently bouncing between Jane Austen (because I am somehow a sucker for romances written in the nineteenth century, when everyone was genteel and never really touched, much less had sex) and Anne McCaffrey's older sci-fi novels. (Back when she was interesting and not writing a bajillion sequels. (And zomg, my internet spellchecker is trying to tell me that's written bazillion. Is bazillion seriously a number, or is it just a word used so freaking often it's made it into the slang dictionary?))
Am currently sulking about it all, since these books can only be found on the internet and in used book stores, and there's only two within decent driving distance (since the one on Beal closed, the liars- they're in the phone book, but I drive past there everyday and there's some crafty store there now) and I can only find one store and while they did have some McCaffrey, I've fixated on the Brainship books and the only one I've found is The City Who Fought. I used to own The Ship Who Sang, but I haven't seen it since E. was in middle school. (She probably loaned it to someone, the bitch.))

Furthering the off-track loaning comment, I've somehow become a lending library. I'm not certain whether to be proud (Whee, I'm a library! Bestest thing ever!) or annoyed (Mine! Rar!). So if anybody's in want of something, drop me a line and an updated mailing address. (I'm sure I have everybody's, but I also never delete old emails with addresses, which means I've got four different addresses for Stephen alone, one of which is in Florida and we all know when last he lived here.)

Along those lines, I'm transitioning over to a new email address (csc.elfhawk (at) gmail.com) since my yahoo address is again being bombarded by spam. (I kind of miss the 'enhance your dick' spams, since they were funny. Now I'm winning lotteries, vacation trips, and shopping sprees, if only I fill out this simple form...) So update thine address books. I will sooner or later get around to sending an email as well.

I need to get my scanner hooked back up. It's been sitting in the living room for over a month, and I've been having way too much fun with pens to not inflict it upon you. (Lee is awestruck by my trees. More struck than awe, to be true, but hey, any attention is good, right?)

I found a Harry Potter book seven discussion. (I forget what the title will be. It's been released though. Some mouthful like 'Harry Potter and a Hoard of Horcruxes.') It makes work interesting- I argue Rowling will kill Potter off, Dad's all in favor of him living. (It goes like this:
"She's been steadily increasing the death count from loser people to people you know, to Dumbledore! The only thing higher is killing Harry!
"It's a kids book. Main characters never die in kids books."
"It's the only way they'll let her get away with not writing anymore sequels.")

Anyway, the seven discussion found this little gem. I died laughing.

So early this week I wake up with two bites on my arm. In the unamusing position of being near the elbow, but on the outer side of my arm, making it virtually impossible to notice unless it happens to be your good hand and you're brushing your teeth in front of a mirror. The next few minutes were spent trying to twist my arm so I could get a good look at them. So yay, spider bites. (Note to self, wash sheets again. Spiders may have been on vacation when you took sheets off and they could be back.) As they weren't turning funny colors (they're only red), I paid them no mind. Until I noticed at work yesterday that only one bite had healed. The other was engine red and swelling. And had a white spot where the original bite was. So yay, spider bite infection. Got home, washed arm thoroughly, then spent half an hour doing gymnastics trying to open the damn thing up. (It's my good arm! I can't even write with my right, much less pinch skin and poke- which requires two hands to begin with.) Spent all evening hissing every time I rested my arm on something. But hey, the two-inch wide pinkness is gone, and the swelling has gone down. And it doesn't hurt so much when I prod it.

So that's the only exciting thing that happened to me.
...

Besides going through bookstore withdrawal after five weeks and giving in and going to BAM for the latest David Eddings and the next Honor Harrington novel. And the Neil Gaiman scary fairy tale story. And one of the few Martin Greenberg books of short stories that I don't own yet. (Does the man do nothing but think up ideas for these things and pester authors until they give him something?) (Also, what's the word for a book of short stories? It escapes me.) And debated quite a few others (I'm so behind on Discworld, but one can only take so much ridiculousness at a time and I already have one I need to read). And bothered the people at the front desk about Keith Laumer, only to find out he's out of print and to try used books stores and I hate David Weber now because he's who got me hooked on Bolos in the first place, the rat bastard, and I don't care how cool Honor Harrington is, I'm not buying any more. ... Er. Except for that one I just got. (She's so cool, I can't help it. Sci-fi with good science and a strong female protaganist. Who could resist?) And complained about the state of their comics. The manga (having grown to three bookshelves) is all alphabetized and looking pretty, but the Marvel and DC stuff have been reduced to less than a single bookshelf and shoved in higgledy-piggledy. It's a travesty! (Is there an 'r' in there? Traversty?)

The problem with reading too much is you forget much of what you've read. For example, my mother was talking to me today and mentioned someone growing tangerines. I'd been thinking about playing soccer in the backyard at the time (because we were in the backyard and I was reminiscing, as they've been remodeling), which got me to thinking about this YA book I remember reading but have no idea what the title/author/any main facts of this book are. I remember it being about this kid who has just moved to Florida from somewhere else, who had to get a doctor's note to play soccer for the school because he wore *seriously* prescription glasses. And he played goalie, and wore these goggles for playing, and I remember that it wasn't actually his eyesight that was bad (though it was that too), but because his older brother had poured acid into his eyes. On purpose. And his brother played football, and murdered some other guy (on this Florida school's team) because he made the brother look like a doofus at the big game. And he and this other friend were breaking into people houses while they were having them bombed for bugs (which is a huge deal here). But I forget the rest. Beyond it being a children's book (or at least young teen), and that I thought it was a stupid genre to put the book in, just because 3/4 of the cast was still virginal. (Well, probably not, but they were still all under the age of 18. And most of them were 15.)

So, there's this comic book I read. Which is not to be confused with my other comic book epic of choice. And there's this bit character by the name of Kay. Now, as I know only major fables well, I thought that Kay referred to Sir Kay, one of the many knights of the Round Table, Arthur's foster brother, number one fan, and most overlooked over, yet still screwed, knight thereof. But I never noticed anything about magic mirrors in Arthurian legend. It being about holy grails, and a land of Reason, and wizards who cast spells and divine using water. And knights. So I checked in with SurLaLune (a website dedicated to finding everything fairy tale out there and matching up more recently published works to the story). Since Fables is, after all, about fairy tale characters. And because no other Arthurian character has shown up yet. It turns out Kay is from some creepy-ass Hans Christian Anderson story. (Not that HCA would know a sweet, nice story if it baked cookies for him. All his stuff is bloody and such-like.) And still a bit character (his childhood sweetheart? being the heroine. I'm unsure as to the relationship).

And speaking of morbid fairy tales, you should check out No Rest for the Wicked. But only if you like creepy fairy tales. The art is... distinctive (but cute), the writing suitably twisty, and the plot meanders along. (I think I've forgotten why they're questing. I just know Princess November needs to complete a quest so she can get some sleep. Because she hasn't in years, and it's doing hideous things to her eyes. And wait'll you see Red Riding Hood. Hee.)

Also, for those of you who like the future more than the fantasy when you're in the sci-fi/fantasy section of the book store, my suggestion to you is to graduate from Heinlein (and if you haven't read him, go back to reading your textbooks, you posers) to Robert Buetiner. Not only does his army have chicks, but there's better plots too. (Well, at least there is in Orphanage, which I picked up on a whim last time I was in BAM, and hell if I'm not in love.)

Reactions to Goblet of Fire as per an icon-maker.

Or, how to snark in ten words or less. "I suppose I'm okay with the pink dress. ... Even though it should be blue." There are other me's out there, people, and they want the blue dress too! Though I thought Harry ought to be kinda short, especially compared to Ron (always described as tall). Seeing as how Ron got regular meals and didn't have to be cupboard-sized and all.

(Never read bad fanfic. Harry is apparently taller than Ron (he has a twelve inch growth spurt the summer before 7th year, apparently), bedecked in gayboi leather (because girls don't see guys in normal blue jeans as being sexy, though I'll agree with the ick-ness any female possessing a little common sense has with the pants that start to where a guy's boxers end), and completely ripped via Quidditch. (Though I'll give on the fact he probably would have some serious thigh muscles. >_> Gotta wonder where abs of steel come into play.))

I think the unrequited!Myrtle is cute. "You could share my toilet if you die."


To get off that topic, sort of. Is anyone else annoyed by the boys/girls' club they made Durmstrang and Beauxbaton into? Admittedly I really don't want to see a guy in the Beauxbaton uniform- even though it was cute, in a 'hey, they make ten-year-olds wear that too? Are the teachers Nabochovs?' sort of way. Plus few girls would shave their heads just to get into a school. (Actually, I'd grow my hair out, because none of those guys can compare to Vin Diesel. Now there's a hottie who pulls off shaved bald . Yum. ... Moving back on topic now.) In the book, the fact that *both* schools accept *both* genders is stated. Y'know, the fact the Durmstrang girls all looked liked Marcus Flint and the Beauxbaton boys that the younger girls were cooing over? (Likely all gaybois if they had to wear movie!Beauxbatons uniforms. Maybe they had a darker blue for the guys.)

I just realized something.

You may need to play some calming music before reading this. Or maybe do meditation to make sure your heart rate is pretty low and you don't spaz out. This goes especially for Carmen.
( Red Pill. You know you'll hate yourself for it, but you're masochistic enough and curious enough to do it anyway. )

Next astonishing use of cliche: Snape turns out to actually be a vampire!

Further astonishing use of cliche: Dumbledore's ghost shows up at the "We killed Voldemort" party and twinkles benignly at everyone.

For those of you still horrified by the first revelation, that's a Star Wars reference. At least I'm not making worse remarks.

...

Never mind, I'll make worse remarks. And I'll keep them rated G too.
( One masterful stroke. (That's also G-rated, btw, so stop thinking like E, you perv.) )

*snerk*

Liz said I was evil, I retorted I simply have evil issues. Pug said those were the ones he read. It was pretty damn funny at the time. It made more sense at the time too.

Snape's still my hero. I cheated and read the part where he plays bad guy.

(I'm actually to chapter twenty-one, but whatever. It's not like I haven't heard a bazillion people being outraged over whom does who in. To be honest, I was rather expecting it. Death build-up. No one, then some kid we don't care about, then the cool insane legal guardian, then of course the last bit of protection the world thinks it has. Next book has Harry die. I'm also predicting Hogwarts closing, but that's to be seen in the next book. Still haven't reached them telling who the prince is, but I'm still rooting for maiden name/mother's name. Makes more sense than royalty. Am beginning to suspect it's Snape, because he's the only person talked about as being so good in potions, even as a student. Far too much snogging going on in HBP, btw. I didn't go through school doing it, why are all of they? I commented upon this to the twins and Sunny while at the parents' and Margret said, "well, yeah, but your not normal" Typographical errors made to show the Margret-ness of that comment. Didn't comment that Harry saying he was obsessing over Malfoy came across as rather gay, so why weren't they snogging? And now that I'm completely off the topic, why don't we get back to it? Which was about... oh yeah, Snape's my hero.)

Anyone forget Snape'd die if he didn't do what he did? And remember the fight Hagrid overheard him having with Dumbledore about not wanting to do something and Dumbledore telling him he had to? Major hint there, people. And wasn't the Headmaster already dying? So Snape's my hero, because he does what needs to be done and damn karma and the lemming-wizards who refuse to stand up to Voldemort because they expect Dumbledore to do it for them. Bloody leeches.

But that's not what the omfg is about. That's build-up. Here's your omfg:


Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

I think I just published another evil issue...

Though I always thought I was an INFP. Apparently the issues have character development on the part of the Elf. At least it's not static, I suppose.

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvelous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.
- Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

Just thought I'd share that with you. See, I was reading The Art of Discworld and came across the elf queen, and I forget what the description said, but I went looking through my Discworld books for mention of Fae, and ta-da, a lesson in ... etymology? (I forget the word for the history of words. How sad is that?)

I'm terrific. Like a poodle.

I've been watching a lot of movies of late. Comes, I imagine, from a wide selection of DVDs owned by roommate and not having to worry about sharing the television- seeing as how Liz works the opposite work schedule I do. I wake up, she's still asleep. I pass her on the way home- either actually at work or if I'm lucky, driving home. (Though the latter hasn't happened yet, curse the season.) She gets home from work, I'm getting ready to head to bed. In an hour or three. So really, the only time we see a great deal of each other is on somebody's day off.

Which is good, since we'd likely kill each other if we had exactly the same hours. It's what happened in my house. =P

The annoying thing, actually, is the fact her artbook doesn't change. When I only saw it once or twice a year, there was always something new to see. Now it's like, "Where's the pretty?!" (And seeing as how she likes drawing guys shirtless... *snickers*) Though it does mean I get around to doing my own stuff, since I've run out of things of hers to look through. (You'll find I have little sense of personal property if things are left out in the open. Bedroom's off-limits, but if you leave things in the kitchen or the living room, be sure that I'll spot it. And I expect the same in return. Feel free to look through stuff left in a public room, but go through anything besides my books when in my bedroom, and I'll have you drawn and quartered. This goes for anybody. Including the stupid cat who thinks my keyboard is the coolest thing to sit on right when I hit the fourth level of my REM cycle. Stupid cat.)

Getting back to the point, I'd just like to rub it in to Carmen that I made doodles and she can't see them. *points and laughs*

Though to make her feel better, I'll tell you what the main assortment of stuff I've done this year is. I bought the Harry Potter books (paperback, because hardbacks would be lethal for cats that are stupid enough to knock into them), and have been rereading them. Originally, I got bored in class and doodled on scratch paper who of the CSC went with what Harry Potter characters. They're doodles, so they're awful and sketchy, but they at least make an attempt to be funny. The only one I haven't done one of is Pug, for the sole reason I refuse to draw a dementor and Stephen already lays claim to having Zombie-Lord Voldemort in his sketch.

Continuing on this Harry Potter fix (which thankfully has passed), I watched the first two movies. Which got me wondering... what houses would the CSC be in? Which made me drag out the sketches, label them (Liz, btw, says "Harry Potter and Cosmic Sewing Circle" sounds like a title for one of the books, and I rather agree) and ponder, what houses would we be in? (Because really, only the sketch for Odette put anybody in a house).

Odette's the easiest one to place. She's a Ravenclaw. Intelligent and prone to like doing homework over play.

Me, I'm easy to place. Slytherin. Sneaky and of questionable morals. Sad as that is. (I have morals. They just don't agree with yours. =P)

Carmen, again an easy placement. Gryffindor. Rash, brave, and prone to violence for reasons thought only to be good in her own mind and similarly deranged ones (usually mine, but I'll never admit it).

Liz, I just asked, as I was having difficulty deciding between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. She's obviously not Ravenclaw or Slytherin, but she has streaks of Gryffindor. But she's right, her Mama Bear act is pure Hufflepuff.

The boys were hard. They're both sneaky and smart. Pug ultimately ended up in Ravenclaw, if only for the fact that I can see him tricking the hat into putting him there. Stephen ended up Slytherin, because he's more open about the fact that he's a sneak. Plus he's a sadist. =P

So I smushed all that into one picture and colored it in as needed. Somebody owes me a new black colored pencil, as Hogwarts robes do not make using any other color easy.

Of course, writing this makes me wonder if I should do one for E. as well...