Nothing of interest really happens to me- mostly because I love not having anything to do. My days consist of watching movies, playing video games, reading books, occasionally hanging out with people. It's boring and I like it that way.

Nice part about summertime is there's always a crap-ton of fun movies hitting theaters. Unfortunately, Lee was my main go-to person for hitting the movies (because I feel weird going by myself, mostly because making snarky comments about the trailers is no fun if you have no audience with which to share your cutting one-liners.) Which means I have yet to see Hancock, Hellboy 2, The Incredible Hulk, or Get Smart. There is possibly a pattern there. I like superheroes in movies. It's just superhero comic books I can't stand. I'm not certain if it's because you have to follow the entire publishing company's line (as cool an idea as the supes' Civil War was, do you know how many characters that thing had to keep up with? ... Yeah, nobody else does either, but a bunch of fans went broke trying); or if it's just because I was raised on Archies and newspaper cartoons, which follow completely different tracks and either have a set beginning, middle, end or else work simply as one-shots. Comic books, on the other hand, change artists, change writers, discontinue for years (sometimes forever...), rewrite canon, and never actually end. There is no happily ever after in DC-world. There is merely next month's exciting issue of fucking yet another superhero over. As Gaiman pointed out early on in the Sandman, the real problem with stories is knowing where to stop- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death.

With the sibs in town, I have seen some movies. I saw WALL-E (which was the cutest load of self-righteousness I've ever seen- I'm not certain if I love it in spite of its baseball bat message or because of it) with Laura (who loves that cutesy shit). Wanted I managed to rope E. into seeing (because Angelina Jolie is hot with a H-A-W-T, even if the movie was nothing to write home about), as well as the latest Indiana Jones (which was going decently for a B-level action movie until Spielberg failed his will save and suddenly it became a D-level sci-fi movie) and Prince Caspian (which had me double-checking date of birth and her basking in relief at the fact her panting over the title character wasn't pedophilia). I've seen Iron Man twice, with as many people as I could talk into it, and want to see it again and again and again. Seriously, even though I knew Downey pretty much led Stark's life IRL (minus the genius superhero bit), I didn't think much of his acting ability- he doesn't come across as physical enough for a superhero movie. It really wasn't fair of me- his part in A Scanner Darkly is the only reason I'd even consider re-watching that movie. (Nothing against the acting on anyone's part, I just hate bad endings.)

The Dark Knight I mentioned to DJ and Jon, and we saw that for a morning showing on opening weekend. The theater was surprisingly full, considering the time of day. (Of course, it was opening weekend, and they had the same bright idea we did. Less crowds because nobody goes to bed early on Fridays. With the exception me. DJ actually hadn't even slept yet...) The theater entrance itself was so completely Joker-ified (also with a mini-shrine to the late actor) that one can only assume they had a midnight showing that probably sold out of tickets the week before. And while I cannot deny the awesomeness that is this movie, I would've bought evening tickets to Twilight (aka the 'Vampire Love' quartet about some twat named Bella and her emo vampire 'do I eat you or rape you' love of her life) solely to see its trailers.

Really, one trailer. Something I didn't really keep track of, barring the hunting down of actors and going "huh, you sure about that? Pretty sure an actress playing someone's mother ought to be more than seven years older." (Nothing against Carla Gugino, she had a very fine ass in Sin City, and did a marvelous job of acting in Threshold, but she looks nothing like the character in question). Anyways, Watchmen. Oh my god, Watchmen. They've only been false-starting production of this movie for fifteen years. (And trying to get someone to write a script since it came out...) And it comes out for my birthday next year. 25 is my new lucky number, barring any unforeseeable actions. (Such as Snyder finally realizing Moore's never, ever going to watch it and burning all copies of the film before its released. ... It could happen. Just look at America's Sweethearts.)


In actual life news that has nothing to do with movies and my love of comic books turned into movies, my eye hurts. As in, please do not touch my lower eyelid because it is pinkish and swollen and sore. Has been for a couple days now. I'm kind of wanting to find an eye patch, because lights make me blink more, which makes the eye hurt more. On the plus side, it makes for a nice distraction from the permanent low-grade headache I've had the past two weeks. (Which got started by the mother of all migraines. One should never wake up in the middle of the night to a random nighttime noise, only to go "ow, omg, wtf?" and start sobbing with pain and not be able to get back to sleep for hours before some blessed soul brings you Excedrin Migraine and a glass of water.)

Even if you only read Dominic Deegan and have no idea what Elf Only Inn is, this is hilarious. (EOI, btw, is a webcomic that takes place in a roleplaying chat room/forum. Most of the chatters, to the chagrin of the admin, aren't elves and they don't roleplay so much as stand around and make fun of chat stereotypes. Is much fun. Plus, it's back from its hiatus, only as an MMORPG instead of a chat room. Still is much fun.)

Now back to helping Liz think up names for her latest brainchild.

The problem with reading too much is you forget much of what you've read. For example, my mother was talking to me today and mentioned someone growing tangerines. I'd been thinking about playing soccer in the backyard at the time (because we were in the backyard and I was reminiscing, as they've been remodeling), which got me to thinking about this YA book I remember reading but have no idea what the title/author/any main facts of this book are. I remember it being about this kid who has just moved to Florida from somewhere else, who had to get a doctor's note to play soccer for the school because he wore *seriously* prescription glasses. And he played goalie, and wore these goggles for playing, and I remember that it wasn't actually his eyesight that was bad (though it was that too), but because his older brother had poured acid into his eyes. On purpose. And his brother played football, and murdered some other guy (on this Florida school's team) because he made the brother look like a doofus at the big game. And he and this other friend were breaking into people houses while they were having them bombed for bugs (which is a huge deal here). But I forget the rest. Beyond it being a children's book (or at least young teen), and that I thought it was a stupid genre to put the book in, just because 3/4 of the cast was still virginal. (Well, probably not, but they were still all under the age of 18. And most of them were 15.)

So, there's this comic book I read. Which is not to be confused with my other comic book epic of choice. And there's this bit character by the name of Kay. Now, as I know only major fables well, I thought that Kay referred to Sir Kay, one of the many knights of the Round Table, Arthur's foster brother, number one fan, and most overlooked over, yet still screwed, knight thereof. But I never noticed anything about magic mirrors in Arthurian legend. It being about holy grails, and a land of Reason, and wizards who cast spells and divine using water. And knights. So I checked in with SurLaLune (a website dedicated to finding everything fairy tale out there and matching up more recently published works to the story). Since Fables is, after all, about fairy tale characters. And because no other Arthurian character has shown up yet. It turns out Kay is from some creepy-ass Hans Christian Anderson story. (Not that HCA would know a sweet, nice story if it baked cookies for him. All his stuff is bloody and such-like.) And still a bit character (his childhood sweetheart? being the heroine. I'm unsure as to the relationship).

And speaking of morbid fairy tales, you should check out No Rest for the Wicked. But only if you like creepy fairy tales. The art is... distinctive (but cute), the writing suitably twisty, and the plot meanders along. (I think I've forgotten why they're questing. I just know Princess November needs to complete a quest so she can get some sleep. Because she hasn't in years, and it's doing hideous things to her eyes. And wait'll you see Red Riding Hood. Hee.)

Also, for those of you who like the future more than the fantasy when you're in the sci-fi/fantasy section of the book store, my suggestion to you is to graduate from Heinlein (and if you haven't read him, go back to reading your textbooks, you posers) to Robert Buetiner. Not only does his army have chicks, but there's better plots too. (Well, at least there is in Orphanage, which I picked up on a whim last time I was in BAM, and hell if I'm not in love.)

As one may or may not have picked up upon, I am a Neil Gaiman fan. Recently it has come to my attention (via my latest acquisition- or possibly second to latest, as I do not recall if I got the Neverwhere DVD before or after the Sandman Companion) that I have been mispronouncing his name. In my defense, I am a native English speaker and thus little used to pronouncing things the way they are spelt. (Spellt? Spelled? I'm sure you see my problem.) Little, for example, would have an extra vowel sound of of some kind if it were pronounced the way it appeared written. Or else would have to be written littil. (Which brings to mind Mattel (which, I suppose, ought to be Matel) and sometimes fennel, and thus I am happy it is not spelled (whatever) that way.)

I've been pronouncing it guy-men, by the way. Something my most favored of authors said in the Companion told me that Gaiman is pronounced exactly the way it is written. He received an award from GLAAD for positive portrayals of gay and lesbian characters. "It was the only time a room full of people cheered simply for the correct pronunciation of my name." Gay-man. And immature being that I am, I giggle every time I see his name, if only because he said he never got teased for it in school and I must make up for all those lost oppurtunities.

( Further musings upon Gaiman in general, and the Endless in specific. )

Some funny stories from yesterday.

First up, my sister, Laura. She went to the base hospital to see if they had copies on file of her recent physical. The conversation went something like this:

"Would you keep copies of sports physicals? I lost mine."
"What's your name?"
"Laura Strawser-Booth."
"And your last four?"
"Uh... Ooth."

I worked records for the hospital for three summers. I know exactly what the receptionist wanted. The last four numbers of her sponsor's social security number, or hers if she doesn't know her sponsor's. Not the last four letters of her surname. Ditz.


Second up.
I'm reading the archives of a new comic I found. Liz gets home, comes in to see what I'm doing. Strikes up conversation whilst I'm still reading. I get to this comic.

"Hey, they sound an awful lot like J.C. and St- Oh my god. James Jones and Stephen Schrader."

Two words for you: Lex Luthor.

The mind boggles.

Thirdly, something from work and only a little funny.
Phone rings, I answer it.
"I'm looking for some lawnmower parts."
"Who makes the lawnmower?"
"Sears."
"We don't sell their parts."
"Do you know who does?"
"Sears, I'd imagine."
"They don't."
"Then nobody else does either."
And then he hung up on me.

Seems obvious to me that if Sears is our competitor, we wouldn't sell parts for their machines, don't you think? These old people, they think they can buy a Gremlin and our Mustang parts will fit on them. You got your money's worth, dude.

(Liz wants to know what quixotic means. I forget. But it's the mood I'm in. (Actually, I said, "I don't know, but I feel it." I think I need to cut back on the iced caffeine.) Quick, minion, go look quixotic up. (Liz calls me terrible because I know she'll look it up, too. She's just jealous I've got a minion and she's still looking for her eye-candy kitchen boy.))

Liz and I learned this after trying jachyra and elfhawk in different memes and getting the same results.

Memesheep. But really, holed up for hours with only Liz, it was that or resort to my masochistic tendencies and make short jokes when she uses a stepladder to get her cat off my bedroom door.

Which Harry Potter guy falls in love with you? by Chili
Name/UserName:
House:
Who:	Ludo Bagman
When...	...he spies you in the shower.
How he tells you:	He sends his best friend to tell you.
What you do then:	Puke.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Capitalization matters. I'm still grossed out beyond words. *twitches*

To keep from twitching myself into oblivion, I refound ancient quizzes to see how my evil issues affect outcomes.

I had fun.

( Mostly because Muted Faith's quiz-maker is as cynical as I am. )

Here's what's really scary:






Take the What Type of Friend are
You? quiz, and visit mutedfaith.com.


First time I took that quiz, I was a good friend. You suppose it's because I didn't think about playing nemesis to my friend's superhero?

I'd like to point out that all superheroes have evil arch-nemesises. (Nemesi. Whatever.) Wouldn't you want a friend to drop you into a pool of sharks rather than some stranger mad at you for killing his wife when the bus she was riding in was hit by a building falling after you were thrown into it? A friend would put a man-sized drain in the pool to escape through. The stranger wouldn't.

Not to mention then we can pretend we both don't know the other's a superhero/villain (and pretend that I don't know that you don't know that I don't know... *snerk*) and can continue meeting for lunch and commenting on the matter of said superhero yet again not managing to defeat the villain, but also making it out of the conflict alive. Then I'll make rude remarks about the villain being stupid for putting in a drain that the hero can escape through, and you'll tell me that if I wanted villains to be smart, I should become one and stop complaining about the ones screwing it up. And I'll say I'm too lazy and busy with my job to make time for taking over the world. Not to mention the fact then I'd have to try and kill superheroes, and those guys never stay dead. Just look at the shark pool. They're fucking Houdinis, man.

I'd never be a superhero. People are ungrateful bastards and it's not ever "Thank you for saving me" it's "Oh my god, where's my dog?" And they get to being dependent. You lived just fine without the superhero before he showed up, why can't you anymore? Not to mention that every Arthur has his Mordred. You become a superhero, you get all these idiots going after you for bragging rights of saying they killed/defeated/outsmarted the superhero.

Real supervillains make plans that involve taking over the world, not defeating superheroes. That's supposed to be a bonus, not the main goal. Get your priorities straight, you punks!

I like it when comic books get made into movies. So long as they're not Batman or Superman. Because I already know about those superheroes, and I want to know about the ones I don't, like Daredevil, Hellraiser (Hellblazer? I forget...), the X-Men, Spawn, the Punisher, and whoever else there is out there. You know, since I didn't grow up reading comic books and all. So I really want to see The Fantastic Four. Because that looks awesome. (I'm such a sucker for explosions...)

Its 'based on the film' book is already out and I read the back cover. I'd been under the impression that Susan Storm was the token female in the group and completely useless. Apparently they made her a doctor in the movie. (Geneticist?) You know, at least in the comic book, they didn't try to pretend the pretty blonde woman was there for anything but eye candy. Apparently the casting director, and then the guys who decide on his choices, think Jessica Alba can look like a doctor. (Really, all I'm seeing is "Hellooooo, Nurse!")

If you ask me, they should have stuck with the pretty socialite the original Susan Storm was if they were going to have young Miss Alba try playing a late twenty-something somewhat happily married to a genius. At least then we'd know that she was cast merely for her ability to look good in spandex(and I'm really not seeing the attraction, though that could just be because I'm too lazy to look for Jessica Alba as Susan Storm as Invisible Woman in spandex) or else her ability to cross her arms under her chest. Really not buying the doctor thing there. Seriously. She looks fresh out of Dawson's Creek. (For those of you who were deaf throughout your high school years, this was our generation's 90210 crossed with some soap. Soap opera, before you start wondering about Fight Club, Pug.)

And I still don't see why heroes have to save the world by dressing in spandex. If I'm going to drool over a character in a movie, I'd at least want him to pretend to look like someone I could meet on the street. I really doubt I'm going to meet anyone on the street dressed in spandex (besides dorks standing in line in their costumes for superhero movies).

Oh, and Liz? Stan Lee has an appearance in the movie. Feel free to squeal.
(I'm kinda wondering why there would be a postal worker in the movie.)

I had dinner with Liz and her folks a couple days ago. Beef. Finally. They keep making chicken, and I hate the stuff. Which isn't the point of this.

Liz's dad gave me booze. I said I wasn't one for wine, so I got a shot of tequila while the rest of them finished off two bottles of white wine. Tequila tastes funny and I'm really chatty after a shot of it. (Liz says I'm not allowed to get drunk in public because I'm a tease. She's probably right.) And more vocal about sadistic tendencies. (I probably shouldn't tell coworkers I think rapists should be castrated, but too late now. I can't even blame that one on being somewhat inebriated...) And make lewd jokes. (Which I do anyway, but usually not around anyone older than thirty.) Such as the fact Liz's dad was 'liquoring me up.' (Direct quote, as made by minorly buzzed lightweight.) And then talking about how my dad's part Native American and is pretty much hairless (no, he doesn't shave his legs, but it sure looks like it, according to Liz Higginbottom. I forget how the conversation brought that about, but I'm pretty sure it made sense at the time) and Liz's dad promised to check should he ever meet my dad. To which I complain that first he liquors me up,only to leave me for my father. (Why yes, I am ridiculous. Why did you forget?) Further embarrassments should probably be checked with Liz, since my memory's never been the greatest and the tequila on a completely empty stomach didn't help. (And the next time I head over, I want to try *two* shots and see what happens.)

(Do you suppose I have enough asides or should I add some more in?)

Liz says I'm obsessed with spandex. I bring it up every time she brings up comic books and superheroes. Well it seems important to me. Nothing says hero like a wedgie that you just can't seem to get rid of. She gets defensive and talks about how the original comic book artists were lazy and didn't want to draw fabric lines and the trend just continued from there. I'd like to point out that comic books would be a lot more popular with girls if the heroes didn't dress in spandex and flashy gay colors. (Why yes, that is a double entendre. Haven't you noticed the 'older hero and young ward' thing? Batman's first Robin was an acrobat. An *acrobat*. I shouldn't need to explain.)

Plus they need to have strong female characters. This does not include Wonder Woman and her bathing suit and her BDSM weaknesses. (Tie her up and she loses her powers? Creepy. Very creepy. Let's not even get started about the original writer's mistress.) The usual female character in comic books is girlfriend who will eventually end up dead or becoming a minion for the bad guys or actually *is* the bad guy. (The hero must have angst! The reader must have eye-candy! Just combine the two, obviously.)

Another annoying thing is the alter egos. Look at them. Batman's is a billionaire playboy. Superman is a dorky journalist. Spiderman's a dorky photographer with a penchant for science. The first is wish fulfillment (as if the superhero persona isn't enough of one), the other two are 'everyman.' Just think, if a spider bit that comic book dork over there in the corner, he could become the next Spiderman. (He'd probably look worse in Spandex, though...)

Actually what really ticks me off is the way Superman's hairstyle changes and somehow that makes it so that no one notices that he and Clark Kent look *exactly* alike and are *never* in the same place as once, even though Lois Lane is frequently found in either of their's company. At least Spiderman's costume covers his entire head. Superman just hopes you'll be blinded by his lack of fashion sense and his sparkling white teeth and thus don't notice that he looks like some journalist at the Daily Planet, except without the hornrimmed glasses. (Funny, I still look like me with no glasses, a different hairstyle, and fashion-less clothes on. You suppose the spandex is used as a distractant as well?)

And combining this with my annoyance with comic book portrayal of women and the 'everyman'ness of Clark Kent, you notice how Lois is all over Superman and won't give Kent the time of day? Way to burst the dorks' bubbles, you heartless bastards. Now they'll be thinking that, should they ever get superpowers, they still won't be able to get the girl because she's madly in love with their alter ego and still won't give the dork the time of day. Oooh, look, now we get reader-angst!

What do you suppose exanimate means? And I'm not even going to go into all the dirty minded things that come to mind with the 'energetic' mood star. Bouncing stars do not look right and are likely outlawed in Kansas.